That's just me!

Brain surgery

2012-01-15T17:11:00.000-08:00

Among other things...this past year has been insane. My mother died of lung cancer in june, I lost my job 4 days later and rapidly started getting very ill. My dumb phone won't let me blog well so this will be a quick update. I was bedridden by october with a condition called chiari malformation. Basically, my brain was compressing down into my spinal column. It was extremely severe according to the surgeons so no time was wasted and I was in surgery less than three weeks from diagnosis. I spent two weeks in hospital and am now trying to recover at home. I have an 8 inch incision where they cut my skull open, moved my brain back where it is supposed to be and they left part of the skull off to allow for this to not happen agai
I have lots of swelling and other issues still three weeks post op so walking, vision, speech, cognitive ability are still tbd. Since my case was so severe, my dr is surprised that I'm conscious and warns that I may need six months to recover. More later. Dawn

Checking in

2010-10-15T13:33:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been 3 or so since I've had the time to blog. I'm at work today, on my lunch break.
I haven't missed Internet land! Honestly, I am on a computer 8+ hours a day...last thing I want to do is get online when I am off work!

Things are going ok...my house is a mess and I am still struggling with how to do all that I have to do...but I think the kids are adjusting well.
I fired our babysitter because I can't afford to pay someone to just sit on the couch and do nothing all day. We are getting things in order with Dave, my mom and #1 son all pitching in to organize who watches the kids when.

School? Hmmm. In process...that's all I will say.

I go back and forth with feeling overwhelmed, guilty and OK with what is going on. I wish there was time to hand out with the kids more, I wish there was time to get my house clean.

On a positive note...my marriage has never been better. DH drives me to work each day and most days he comes and has lunch with me. I work about 5 minutes from our house, so that works.
We have a regular date now too...essential.

I am also seeing SO much that God is for me and that he has not left me alone in all of this change. I am holding onto hope that this is all part of His plan for my life and it will make me stronger.
Honestly, I'm not reading anyones blogs these days. It is too hard for me to see all the wonderful things you are getting done with your children each day. It is hard for me to see you express such gratitude at being able to stay home with your families when I cannot do the same. Harsh, but that is my honest feeling.

Folks, I'm tired. I won't lie to you. Still, I am learning so much about compassion, grace and forgiveness. I am learning what is truly important in my daily life, and it's not the things I used to think it was. Not at all. I was (in many ways) living a delusion. It is good to have clarity on some fronts even if the lesson is a hard one!
Well, my lunch break is over...
Later.

Random thoughts

2010-07-31T11:44:00.000-07:00

I am finally able to sit down and blog for a few minutes today. We got Internet access back on at home (yippee) and I have a day off. DH happens to be working today and the kiddos are working on chores and things to get ready for #2 son's birthday party today. Ahhh...a moment to write!
Things in my life are so busy. I work 40 plus hours a week now. My job is very high pressure and fast paced. I am an Admin/scheduler for a roof maintenance company here in town. It is hard adjusting to being gone all the time. Sometimes dinner happens late at night, sometimes we have to go to the store before we can eat! Especially since DH got busy with his work around the same time I went to work. That was not supposed to happen. We thought he would pursue surgery on his back and be home with the kids. I can't get him to slow down. After having NO income for so long, he is trying to get us caught up. I'm just praying that he can hold out with his back issue.
We have a babysitter coming in to help with the kids, not my plan...but it seems to be necessary these days.
Life has taken so many twists and turns. There are time I feel guilty, (daily) about no being home all the time. There are times I feel so overwhelmed that I do not know which way to go! Then, there are times that I try and remember to breathe, stop my thoughts and trust that God has the plan for my life. I am following my husbands leading. If he tells me to quit working, it will be time.

For now, homeschooling is minimal. I know that I need to plan for next year, but I am not even sure if I will be teaching, or if DH will be teaching. I've thought about public school, but we really do not want to do that. I will go back to no income before that happens.

Anyway, that is just an update. Please keep me in your prayers. I need to be sane and have the peace that passes understanding!

My thoughts lately and still are with those who do not know God and depend on Him in times of trouble. If I did not have God in my life, what I am doing now would be intolerable. I almost wonder if God is allowing me to go through this current trial to increase my compassion for working moms. I always had the opinion that moms should stay home with their kids and homeschool. I admit that I looked down on moms who worked. I almost had the opinion that they were not as dedicated a mother as I was, when I was at home baking bread and teaching math lessons every day.
Perhaps God is teaching me to have a new perspective?

I am also moved by so many around me who struggle through addictions and pain. I have always been moved by those bound by addictions.

I would love to see a written plan from God on what to do next in my life. I am not thinking that is going to happen anytime soon however. I'm really trying to remember to slow down and take each day as it comes. Things are radically different and I do not know what the next season holds, but I have to be ok where I am today. Con tenement is not easy to hold on to!

Busy busy

2010-05-26T09:27:00.000-07:00

So much has gone on lately. I am at the college taking classes for computers. Not sure if it will do much good in the long run. I know that it is very hard to be away from home as much as I am...on everyone.
Things are very tough right now. I wish I could have something better to say, or something better to report...but we are just struggling so much.
These times try our patience, our resolve and even our faith.

At the risk of sounding like a real bummer, I won't say too much more. Hope to some day have time to think and blog about what I am thinking! For now, it is pure survival mode.

Another month in the wilderness

2010-04-26T14:11:00.000-07:00

Oh, how I miss blogging. I miss writing. I feel like the words are going to burst out of me at times if I don't get them down on paper or in cyberspace. Unfortunately...my life has taken a complete 180. I am now in an advanced computer class 12 hours a week at the local college. I also am required to work in a job training program 20 hours a week.
How does this work for a homeschooling mom of 7 small children? If you have a good answer...let me know! Just kidding...God has this all under control,even if I do not!
Strangely enough, it works like it is supposed to work. DH is fighting a really bad back injury and is not able to *work* even though he is too stubborn to stop completely. He is able to be home with the children while I am out in the world. He has taken over the schooling on some scale that we have not yet determined. So we aren't eating the 3 course meals I used to make...we throw together some grilled chicken and veggies last minute and we are good. So, we realize that we are out of milk as I stare at the children's cereal bowls in the morning...oops...they will survive and I can just run down to the local convenience store at any hour of the day or night!
We are trying to figure out how to get everything done without me there doing in. A great challenge for the whole family.
Some have suggested that we cut the school year short this year and not focus on school much. I am OK with that idea...except we missed so much schooling with moving, me suffering 2 miscarriages and a plethora of other issues, crisis and problems that had to be ironed out this last year. Now, much of our "free time" is spent shuttling DH to doctors, neurosurgeons etc.
A big part of me wants #1 son to really be prepared for his future and get that schooling in...of course...there is not much time for me to fixate on that AND I know that I know that I know that God has his future already planned out for him. *WHEW* My brain is full.
It is a strange season spiritually as well. I am convinced that I am testing some of my ideas on unconditional love with the Lord. Not a rebellion...just pushing some boundaries of who I thought I had to be and how that looks. I am sure that came through in my previous posts on grace vs. legalism.

One thing I wanted to share was that even though I am radically different, seeking, searching and working my butt off out of the house and in...God's spirit is still with me. There are times that I wonder and then I will feel his Spirit prompt me to remember in some old song I love or some comment from a loved one.
The most recent was a Metallica song. (I know...we Christians are not *supposed* to listen to HEAVY METAL...sorry...I rarely do what I am *supposed* to do.) Anyway.
This is on my phone, for music that I listen to when I am at the gym and the heavy beats and guitar riffs get me working out extra hard. (ever tried to work out to Enya?) A song called "One" came on that almost moved me to tears.
The lyrics that got me were only this..."oh, please God wake me"
The song goes on to say that the landmine (from a war) had "taken my sight, taken my speech, taken my hearing, taken my arms, taken my legs...taken my soul, left me with life in hell.
I know this is a leap, but TO ME...I got so much from that. How often am I hurt and shattered from some experience, or someone trying to box me into a certain mold that I feel just like that wounded man?
I can so relate to being blind, deaf, mute and helpless in the face of some onslaught of legalism or control from man. Oh God...please wake me. That is my cry today.
I know that God is waking me. Many will not understand or like the changes that I am awakening to but I can attest that they are all about loving God, freedom and reaching out to the prodigals. Not sure what form that will take yet...I have to figure out where I am on my own long march to the Father. Good thing he is standing there with open arms and Jesus is carrying me over the deeper ruts and valleys.
Thank God...I am not left alone. EVER. Thank God, the word of God tells me that he would follow me to hell and back.
Where can I go from your spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there; if I make my bed in hell, you are there. If I take the wings of the morning and settle at the farthest limits of the sea, even there your hand will lead me, and your right hand hold me fast. If I say, "Surely the darkness will cover me, and the light become night around me," even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is as bright as the day, for darkness and light are both alike to you. (Psalm 139:7-12)

It's been awhile!

2010-03-29T16:07:00.001-07:00

Still not back online yet and it is really hard to blog on my phone with the teeny keyboard. My brain works so much faster then my fingers.. Oh man, I have so many things to say!!! I am hoping that things get back to normal soon! Until then, don't give up on me...I will be back!
Dawn

Speaking of Love

2010-02-13T13:41:00.000-08:00

I was reading Dietrich Bonhoeffer this morning and came across this; It totally blew me away. I had just posted on love yesterday and was praying about what love means. This is such a powerful passage. I hope it goes deep with you!

"Jesus Christ stands between the lover and the others he loves. I do not know in advance what love of others means on the basis of the general idea of love that grows out of my human desires-all this may rather be hatred and an insidious kind of selfishness in the eyes of Christ. What love is, only Christ tells in his Word.

Contrary to all my own opinions and convictions, Jesus Christ will tell me what love toward the brethren really is. Therefore, spiritual love is bound solely to the Word of Jesus Christ. Where Christ bids me to maintain fellowship for the sake of love, I will maintain it.

Where his truth enjoins me to dissolve a fellowship for loves sake, there I will dissolve it, despite all the protests of my human love.

Because spiritual love does not desire but rather serves, it loves an enemy as a brother. It originates neither in the brother nor in the enemy but in Christ and his Word.

Human love can never understand spiritual love, for spiritual love is from above; it is something completely strange, new and incomprehensible to all earthly love.

Because Christ stands between me and others, I dare not desire direct fellowship with them. As only Christ can speak to me in such as what that I may be saved, so others too, can be saved only by Christ himself.

This means that I must release the other person from every attempt of mine to regulate, coerce and dominate him with my love. The other person needs to retain his independence from me; to be loved for what he is, as one for who Christ became man, died and rose again, for whom Christ bought forgiveness of sins and eternal life. Because Christ has long since acted decisively for my brother, before I could begin to act, I must leave him to his freedom to be Christ's; I must meet him only as the person that he already is in Christ's eyes.

This is the meaning of the proposition that we can meet others only through the mediation of Christ. Human love constructs its own image of the other person, of what he is and what he should become. It takes the life of the other person into its own hands.

Spiritual love recognizes the true image of the other person which has has received from Jesus Christ; that image that Jesus Christ himself embodied and would stamp upon all men.

Therefore, Spiritual love proves itself in that everything it says and does commends Christ. It will not seek to move others by all too personal, direct influence, by impure interferences in the life of another.

It will not take pleasure in pious, human fervor and excitement. It will rather meet the other person with the clear Word of God and be ready to leave him alone with this Word for a long time, willing to release him him again in order that Christ may heal with him.

It will respect the line that hes been drawn between him and us by Christ, and it will find full fellowship with him in the Christ who alone binds us together.

Thus this spiritual love will speak more to Christ about a brother than to a brother about Christ. It knows that the most direct way to others is always through prayer to Christ and that love of others is wholly dependent upon the truth of Christ. It is out of this love that John the disciple speaks "I have no greater jot than to hear that my children walk in truth" (3 John 4)

Human love lives by uncontrolled and uncontrollable dark desires; spiritual love lives in the clear light of service ordered by the truth.

Human love produces subjection, dependence, constraint; spiritual love creates freedom of the brethren under the Word.

Human love breeds hothouse flowers;spiritual love creates the fruits that grows heartily in accord with God's good will in the rain and storm and sunshine of God's outdoors.

The existence of any Christian life together depends on whether it succeeds at the right time in bringing about the ability to distinguish between a human ideal and God's reality, between spiritual and human community."

Dietrich Bonhoeffer-Life Together.

changes

2010-02-12T15:45:00.000-08:00

Lately I have been thinking a lot about change. There is so much change always swirling around me. At times I am so resistant of change. Let's face it...change is hard. Recently however, I am embracing, almost seeking change in my life. Change in my thoughts, change in my attitudes. I want so much to go to a new place in my head and my heart.

Life has been interesting these past 3 years. Lots of loss, lots of desert wanderings for me and lots of pain. I can say that God has been faithful through it all. I might not have always recognized that...but my acceptance of the truth does not change the fact that it is valid.

Now, I feel that God is calling me to more change and I am excited by the prospect. Already I can see that He has been moving me slowly, lovingly through all the turmoil of these past years.

Things that bothered me even 4 or 5 months ago have ceased to concern me...especially things such as what other people think of me, or if I am accepted or rejected.

I believe that the pruning that God has done in my life have made me have less fear of man. It is very freeing. I have to admit that I would not (then) have chosen to walk through the pain willingly...but now that I see the fruit, I believe that I will choose change again.

Now that I see what God had in store with each lesson, the loss no longer seems to matter to me. Funny how we hold so tightly to things, dreams and relationships that are not the best thing for us. I am very humbled and thankful that God truly holds the better plan for our lives.

One thing I see glaringly as I look at life through the filter of these changes, is the rampant insistence that I am somehow supposed to change others, or to win others over to a different belief systems. I am not even talking about witnessing to non-Christians. I am referring to believers and how we treat one another.

Everyone has an ideology, an opinion or a pet conviction that they are fervently sharing and defending. It is passion for our beliefs that makes our lives worth living...is it not? It is the essence of being alive and being awake and aware that energizes me and encourages me.

I am all for standing up for what the Word of God teaches us. I am all for seeking a higher level in our walk.

It is when people take things that are "preference issues and make them into sin issues" (thanks Sara for that wording) that I draw the proverbial line in the sand, cross my arms and refuse to go any further. I admit that I can get very rebellious in those moments. This to me is when it is no longer about love.
It is when I see fellow brothers and sisters mocked, shamed and deserted for not lining up to these preferences that my heart breaks and my blood boils. In the back biting and obvious disdain that we show others...I am devastated.

How have we gotten so far from God's intentions for love? Why are we so threatened when someone does not believe exactly as we do about everything? Can someone else disagreeing with us, arguing with us....even shunning us for what we believe actually change it? If so...then we really do not hold that belief very dear, or take it very seriously to begin with.

I have been reading a lot of books on China lately, and some of the things that Mao did during the Cultural Revolution and the atrocoties that resulted from that. It all came down to Mao insisting that all of China line up with his beliefs and ideas no matter what the cost. Millions lost their lives, their freedom, their entire way of life. China was desemated by his policies and laws...culturally, financially and spiritually raped my their "Great Chairman".

No one was allowed to disagree with him about anything.

If I consider history carefully, great caution flags should go up in my heart when I see myself pushing my beliefs on others

When someone struggles, questions their faith or even out right commits a sin, why is it that we as the Body of Christ pick up our arms and attack them in their most vulnerable moments?

There were times that I questioned many things. Things that I had previously declared to be immovable beliefs. The very shadow of doubt crossing my mind caused me tremendous confusion and pain. It did not seem right to question.
It was in those dark moments that I looked around me and witnessed horror, hatred and fear on the faces around me. My doubt and pain seemed to elicit an extreme reaction in the minds of others.

Those terrible dark moments have passed, or a reprieve has been granted, in any case I am stronger for having walked through it. God is good, all the time.

It has left me with a softer approach to those who are grinning through their own pain and walking blindly in their own doubts and fears.

I have also learned a very valuable lesson on true love. When a brother or sister is suffering, hurting, running or sinning that is NOT the time for me to get on my high horse and lecture, preach, condemn or shame them back to the truth, be that my imagined truth or the real truth whichever I am consumed with in that moment.

My job is to love them.

I know I have said that before in previous blogs. What I am learning though it that I really have to mean it. I have to practice unconditional love even if...you fill in the blanks.
Easier said than done. True love hurts. Ask Jesus about that.

True love means that we do not care if our beliefs are threatened (as if that were possible) if our feelings are hurt or if the receiver of our love is all together unworthy. Even if they never love us back., even if they never change. True love means that we give until it hurts and keep on going.

True love is one way. I give, 100% and expect nothing in return. True love means that I allow people to fall apart, question, rage or defy without assuming that they have walked away from God or from pursuing righteousness. Without somehow feeling superior to them. Looking down y nose from my mountain top...forgetting the very valley I just came through.

True love means that I give people the room to bump their heads, to grow and to change without stepping in with anything other than open arms and a pure heart toward them.

God help me!

Thought provoking article

2010-01-29T13:57:00.001-08:00

This is written by Reb Bradley
http://www.familyministries.com/HS_Crisis.htm

It's been a while!

2010-01-16T13:05:00.000-08:00

I haven't had a spare moment to blog since we moved around the first. I am loving "my" new house. It is a rental...but so feels like home. We went from about 1,000 sq ft. to 2400 sq ft. It is wonderful to have space. The kids seem happier and are fighting less. They aren't on top of each other anymore!

There is even a huge home school/play room downstairs. The drums and pianos are down there, so music lessons can be done without disturbing everyone. There are 4 bedrooms...plenty of room for the 9 of us. I am so thankful for the blessing of this house.
I also thankful for the blessing of every house I have lived in. So many do not have homes. I remember what it was like to not have a home for a while.

Now that we are five minutes away from it, we joined the YMCA again...to get some much needed exercise. I was a member for many years before we moved to the sticks. Good to be back. Cutting our Starbucks will pay for it, along with a generous discount from the Y. Did you know that you can apply for reduced membership fees in hard times? Who knew. Another huge blessing.

I have been overwhelmed by the goodness of God and people. In 2 weeks time we were given gift cards for Christmas (anonymously) a tree and all the decorations on Christmas Eve, a man in Fred Meyer gave us $100,(I know!) a table and 6 chairs to do school on, a computer for the kids to use, an overhead projector for all those wonderful history transparencies I have been packing around all this time...not to mention a washer, vacuum, kitchen things and 2 more bookshelves. Talk about blessings overflowing. God is so good.

I took a small accounting job here at home, it lasted about 14 hours over 4 days. It was a challenge at first to find the time to do it with the kids and my husband and still keep up on schooling and the house. I did, but it meant getting up at 5 a.m. to work. I am hoping that I get more gigs like that. Perfect for our family in these times. It felt really good to make some money and use my skills!
The day I got paid, my brakes went out so I was able to have them fixed that day. Isn't it great how God looks out for the needs not yet here?

There are a lot of things going around in my head...I hope to blog soon on my latest thoughts.

2009-12-31T13:29:00.000-08:00

The following post really spoke to me. It was written about 3 years ago, but so true for me today. I got it from this site www.nakedpastor.com.
It is a pretty edgy and raw site, just one reason I like it. It will challenge your conventional thought patterns however, so be warned. I do not agree with everything on this site, but then again I would not be living in reality if I thought that I had to agree with everything that everyone said, thought or felt, would I? As I have said before...another opinion cannot change my belief!
Dawn

"This is eternal life, that they may know you" (John 17:3). This verse got me thinking the other day about the fullness of life in the here and now. Then I read Chambers sometime this weekend, and he also says that knowing God in Christ is "one amazing, glorious NOW!" This is the fullness of the moment, doxology, benediction, blessing, abundance, right now, this second.

I didn't preach yesterday. My good friend and co-pastor Doug Mawer did. But I lead worship. I am a part of a congregation and movement that has a history of desiring more of God's presence. But while I lead worship, I was impressed by the fact that God is fully present, right now. I don't have to work anything up, or conjure up his presence. God in Christ is fully present as he promised. The problem isn't that God needs to be more fully present. The problem is that I need to be more fully present with God. That's always the problem. It's our thinking that is deficient. (I LOVE this)

Which gets me thinking about good friends of mine who feel alienated from the church. For many of them, their experience of church has been painful and frustrating. I think, for many of them, it stems back to this false belief that God isn't really present, and that we can work it up by purity, heartfelt emotion, knowledge, intensity, and intention. In other words: by our desires, wills and efforts. Many people immediately see through that never-ending spiral downward into religiosity. They, like me, have no tolerance for that anymore.

Can we as a church affirm to people that God is with them in Christ? Can we tell people the good news that the Kingdom of God is HERE, right now? Can we tell people, that without any work on their part, that they have been reconciled to God through Christ? That is the cure to the religiosity that is, frankly, destroying true fellowship.
David Hayward

Just a thought

2009-12-29T14:11:00.000-08:00

I know that many of us are trying to be a meet helper to our husbands, but do we really listen when he speaks?
I know that you are trying to follow God and be His bride, but do we really listen when He speaks?

This scenario went through a conversation I had with an old friend late last night.

My husband has told me for years "Don't worry" and I just took it as a comment that really did not mean I had to do anything. Something to say when I asked about what to do about such-and-such or whatever current crisis or issue in my life.
I am sure I would sluff it off and continue to fret, just not out loud anymore.

Later, in some heated discussion, he would tell me that I never listen to him.
"WHAT" I would ask incredulously, I do my best to be a good wife, I ask you before I schedule anything to see if you are willing, I try to consider your needs and fulfill them, I cook your favorite meals, I tend to the children as you wish, I do....I do.....I do.... (works, works, works)
But...did I listen? Did I, in fact cease to worry about whatever it was? ~~Probably not.~~ No.
Was he saying that to control me? Was he saying it to get me to shut up? Well...let's not go there. :)
No. He had my best interest in mind.
Did he say it forcefully? No, he is not out to control me or make me do anything. He wants me to trust him. To cease to worry for my own good. He wants me to believe that it will be OK and to refuse to allow my own dark, twisty-ness to overwhelm my thoughts.

As I was talking about this to my friend, we marveled at how much like God this is. God tells us something for a reason. Not with flashing signs and sirens, but quietly, gently. He expects us to listen to him as well. For our own good.
God does not ask us to do, do, do for Him either. Simply to listen and obey. To trust that He has it all worked out, to not worry. To be with Him.

How often do we ignore that? Do we worry and fret? Do we love our neighbors and the sinners as we should? Did we not hear Him the first time?

Wow. Learning to listen. Learning to apply what we hear in the chaos of our fretful minds and fearful hearts. What a challenge, what an opportunity. Having a husband to practice listening to for the right reasons...what a blessing. A marriage made by God. Not always easy, but so amazing.
Just a thought

What does the Prodigal see when he looks at me?

2009-12-19T12:26:00.000-08:00

One of my all time favorite songs is a Vineyard songs from the CD called "Fathers house". It is about 15 years old, I guess. The whole CD is about the Prodigals that are out there still searching, and the Prodigal in all of us. I was just remembering some of the songs today.

How easy it is to forget that God's heart is for the lost and the seeking. How easy to get so wrapped up in the vain pursuits of increasing our own "goodness" while so many of His precious children are yet wandering in darkness. I am guilty here.

I was reminded of a conversation that I had in the past. An acquaintance and I had occasion to spend more time together and get to know each other better. As we became friends, this person confessed to me that they "had me figured all wrong". That I was not like the others.

They told me that they had this whole idea of what a Christian, conservative, homeschool mom would be like and they had put me into that box when they first had met me.

I remember being so shocked that they would think that of me. After all...I am a little rough around the edges and pretty transparent with my failings as a Christian. I know that I am not perfect, thank God.

My heart just broke when I heard them tell me what they had thought I would be like. Or what they thought I would expect of them. I grieved for the lost time. Lost to unreal expectations, lost to fear, lost to lies.

I grieved for the shame and fear that I saw so exposed before my eyes.
They thought that they had to hide who they were around me. Not because I ever did anything to make them feel that way, just because I am a Christian. There was a wall between us that kept me out.

They thought that I would judge them for things in their life that were not "Christian" enough. They thought that I would shun them if they slipped up and used colorful language or if they had a drink or a smoke. They were terrified for me to see who they were. Hiding in the dark, waiting for me to throw stones.

This person is an honest seeker. Looking for the love of Jesus and having a hard time finding it among the Body. I know that I am not responsible for what someone else thinks, or how they perceive things. I just could not help but wonder how many times I have come off as "too Christian" for someone to approach me.

I am glad to say that we were able to build a bridge between our hearts, for however brief our time together was...that bridge will always be there. With compassion, love and acceptance I can pave the way for Jesus to walk across that bridge from my heart to another.

Acceptance of a person does not mean that we condone sinful behavior. It is not my job to do that. Not to change them, lecture them, convert them or judge them. My job is to love them. Love them when they are unlovable, when they fall apart and when things are on top of their game.

My own conversion took place in this way. I was also sitting in the dark, ducking stones from well meaning Christians. Sadly, many whizzed by my head a long time. I remember feeling so outcast and so angry. I wondered why I would want anything to do with a God whose followers would treat me that way.
The righteous ones who told me all about how wrong I was, and how bad I was...only pushed me farther from Jesus.

Finally I met some Christians who understood grace, redemption and compassion because they could remember what it was like to be chained in the dark, outcast and ashamed. They took me in where I was and loved me to the Lord.
What a gift they gave me. I never felt condemned. I was never told that I was not good enough. I was not told that I had to change anything. They let the Holy Spirit handle all that. They just loved me. Unconditionally.

I wonder if in fear have I shut out the Prodigals in my life?
How many times do I hear Christians make excuses for building protective walls between themselves and the world? If I had a dime for every time....well, you know the rest. How many times, did I follow that same thought pattern and hide away from the hands reaching out all around me? No thank you, I can't help you today...I am late for bible study...or whatever.

I think that there is so much fear that we will be polluted by the world that we shun it, judge it and hide away from it. This reminds me of the parable of the good Samaritan.

The Gospel of Luke chapter 10, verses 25-37

One day an expert in religious law stood up to test Jesus by asking him this question: “Teacher, what should I do to inherit eternal life?” Jesus replied, “What does the law of Moses say? How do you read it?” The man answered, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind.’ And, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” “Right!” Jesus told him. “Do this and you will live!” The man wanted to justify his actions, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

Jesus then replied with a story:

“A Jewish man was traveling on a trip from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he was attacked by bandits. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him up, and left him half dead beside the road. By chance a priest came along. But when he saw the man lying there, he crossed to the other side of the road and passed him by. A Levite walked over and looked at him lying there, but he also passed by on the other side. Then a despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw the man, he felt compassion for him. Going over to him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with olive oil and wine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him. The next day he handed the innkeeper two silver coins, telling him, ‘Take care of this man. If his bill runs higher than this, I’ll pay you the next time I’m here.’

“Now which of these three would you say was a neighbor to the man who was attacked by bandits?” Jesus asked. The man replied, “The one who showed him mercy.”

Then Jesus said, “Yes, now go and do the same.”

The Priest and Levite passed by the wounded man on the road for various reasons. They were God's own servants, too busy with temple (church) business, too scared or just too unwilling to touch the untouchable. The pagan Samaritan stopped and helped and went above and beyond.

I think that as a Christian, there can be fear to step outside of the safely constructed box of protection that the Church offers. By Church, I do not mean the building or the congregation. I mean the whole deal. The activities, the works if you will, the attitudes, the groups, the people, the things that we do, say and pretend to be in order to feel like we are OK.

Do you know what I mean?

People are all along the roads that we walk on. Lonely, hurting and confused.
There is so much fear that I hear, the fear of getting polluted by the world. I believe that God is bigger than that. He who is in you, is greater than he who is in the world (1 John 4)

The One who is more than enough is inside of you. If you are in Christ Jesus, the Holy Spirit, the One who is more is inside of you. Because of this we have overcome. To hear many Christians talk, you would think the one who is less is on the inside of them.

There is no one who can change what I believe. They can say and do what they want. My faith is secure. Wild horses could not drag me away. Seeing someone who is not following God cannot make me do the same. My children seeing me love someone who is not a Christian will not make them fall off the path. My God is a big God. I am not afraid of those who do not believe what I believe. They no longer threaten me.

When I talk about reaching people, I am not even talking about things that I used to do with God. Reaching the alcoholic, the homeless and the abused. Ministering in the local church tirelessly or volunteering in a worthy charity. Those things are not possible for me right now. I have small children, I can't be doing the things that I did then. At least, not for awhile.

I CAN love and accept those who cross my path. I can befriend the lonely and love them where they are. I can choose to not fear or judge those who are not like me. After all, no one but God sees their heart. I can smile at the grocery clerk, the one with the hard eyes. I can befriend those who are not like me.

Here is a challenge I asked myself today...How many non-Christians are in your life? Not even non-Christians...how many Christians that are not just like you, are there in your life? How many would you call a friend?

How can I reach anyone if I stay inside my own circle? Is my circle enclosed with barbed wire, is it shrinking every day? What does someone have to do in order to pass the guards that I have posted around my circles? You know the ones...rules, laws, acceptable behavior, belief systems and all of the rest.
How can I reach anyone with the love of Christ if I make them agree to a 10 page code of conduct before I talk to them?

Lots of questions. I hope I can answer them in my own heart soon. I believe that love is the first step. I believe I need a new understanding of love and just how far reaching it is.
Dawn

Perspective

2009-12-11T16:27:00.001-08:00

This was one of those light bulb moments for me. Yesterday in school, my Artist boy was supposed to make those block things into hundreds, tens and ones columns respectively.
I gave him the page and the blocks, asked him to make the right amounts in the right spots and turned my attention to my Philosopher and graphing out height differences in famous skyscrapers. (Ah, homeschool math!)
A few moments later, he shows me what he has done.

I thought it was very clever. In fact, it made my heart swell and I actually giggled out loud! It showed me that he thinks outside the box and is very creative. That's the heart of an artist! Not news to me...aren't all of our children wonderfully talented and brilliant?

It also showed me how different perspective can be from person to person.

He took what I said and ran it through his filters and this is what he interpreted it to be.

It really made me think of other times I have said things and gotten a different outcome than I expected. It was not the other persons fault that I had those expectations. It was all a matter of perspective.

I did not tell him that he did the assignment "wrong". He simply took the limited information I gave him and made it work. If I had shown him
e-x-a-c-t-l-y how to lay those blocks out in the right way, then we would talk about direction following skills!

I think that many of our issues in life can be avoided and solved if we will just stop and remember that not everyone has the same understanding, perspective, experiences and filters that we do. Not everyone will have the same response. That is the beauty of God's imaginative creation. Not all of us are alike.

I am going to try and remember this when I ask my children to do something that they have not done before and I am surprised at the results. I am going to try and remember that I am responsible for my interruptions, expectations and reactions.

Many times, I can get all bent out of shape by what someone says (usually in an e-mail where you cannot judge tone and intent) I have been so blown away that things I thought I understood were totally way off base or that something I said has been totally misinterpreted.

Seems like such a simple thing to grasp, not new ideas for me by any means...this just was like a light bulb moment all over again for me. A reminder to stop and consider where someone else might be coming from.

When someone is rude to me, say in the grocery store on in traffic. I too often get irritated and think only of myself. I need to consider what may be going on with that person. Are they ill, stressed, mourning or struggling in some other way. What pains are hidden behind those cranky eyes that confront me in the world around me?
It is just not about me. It really just isn't (I have to keep telling myself that...)

I would love to have the discipline and maturity to consider others first in this respect. To not be easily offended and to seek to bridge the distance from my heart to theirs. I believe this is real Christianity in action.

When a friend says something hurtful...will I stop and consider what distress they may be in that caused that unloving word? How easy it should be to have that compassion on those we love. How often it is not that way. I know that I tend to have less grace on my husband for example if he is cranky. How much harder will it be to practice that with all people?

I read something today that also goes along with this theme. I get the Voice of the Martyrs devotion daily sent to my cool new Internet phone, so I read this devotion before I get out of bed. Anyway...today was about a woman in China was was beaten for not renouncing Christ. She was tortured and killed by her captors. Before she died, she wrote a prayer down asking for the grace not only to endure her trials, but asking God to have pity on her tormentors at the same time.
Reminds me of the prayer of our Lord on the cross, in the face of unimaginable pain and torment..when he asked God to forgive those who hurt him...
"for they know now what they do".

Oh that I would be able to have the same attitude in my minor trials and run in's with my family and the world.
Blessings to you.

My baby's first birthday photos

2009-12-08T11:56:00.001-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

The Heze-nator's birthday fell on Thanksgiving this year so the older kids made Pilgrim and Indian hats as party decorations for fun. They had fun acting out the Thanksgiving story over and over.

This baby boy has been such a blessing to our family. He is always happy and smiling. I am grateful for him!

Ready to attack the enemy!

I tried to use "Thanksgiving colors" for his first birthday cake...I like how it turned out.

Ride em' cowboy!

One happy boy! We love you Heze.

Love this post!

2009-12-07T18:36:00.000-08:00

My pal Carrie..who is such an intuitive person and really knows her friends....read this post and thought that I would agree with it! I DO!
*Update... if the link will not work, here is the address*

http://www.wearethatfamily.com/2009/12/raising-my-children-to-be-christians.html

I am always seeking the balance to allow God to move in my children's hearts and not only seek behavior modification alone. It is a LONG journey to realness and reality for me. I fall back into works and trying in my own strength every minute it seems. With all that has gone on here lately...I have been really grouchie and down...that does not make for great parenting. My children see the real me more often than I want then to! I need posts like this one to remind me that even if I blow it and do not act "Christian" all the time, that God still loves and I am still in his arms. Same goes for my kids!

I think that one really needs to read this and understand that it is not about letting children run wild or behave badly, but more about allowing the Holy Spirit to move in their hearts. More about not letting fear of what others think dictate how we parent. At least that is my take on it.

I know many will not grasp this concept...everytime I talk about grace or allowing the Holy Spirit to move I find myself going around and around in discussions about how we are responsible for training our children and all of that. SO not what this is about!

I agree that we are to train our children. I do. I train my children...I fail a lot and I succeed sometimes. I have not gotten the perfect parent thing down yet. Thank God...cause I think he has other, bigger plans for our family then just perfect kids, you know?

Thanks Carrie for thinking of me...I am always touched my how thoughtful you are!!!

Dawn

Family Update

2009-11-29T12:11:00.000-08:00

Things have been very difficult this past week. Unfortunately, I miscarried our precious baby. Not only did that happen, but the miscarriage did not go well and after a week of trying to do it naturally with the help of my midwife, trying medications from my OB and getting very, very ill...I ended up rushing off the the ER for surgery late last night. I needed a lot of help with the severe nausea that the medications caused me and I was very dehydrated from blood loss, but they fixed me up pretty good! I am grateful for hospitals when you need them!
I am home now and trying to rest as much as one can with 7 children who need me.
I am on the mend, and Praise God...he carried me through the whole thing. I anticipate some time for the whole family to recover and heal.

God is good, all the time and I know that this precious life is not lost, but in the arms of Jesus.

Family nights

2009-11-18T10:59:00.000-08:00

My friend Michelle's posts on family night at her house encouraged me to dig out my Heritage Builders series books and do the same. We LOVE the devotional activities. Since we are "in between" churches right now we needed this set time to focus on teaching and worship together in a way that is not just mom and dad reading the bible while little ones wiggle and wonder when they can get up! We still read the Word...but this gives the kids a way to be excited about learning!

I have turned a corner in my parenting where I seek less to force them to be still and silent when learning about God, to where I want them to interact and ENJOY learning about God. I do not want their memories to be of bad times when we are reading the Word or doing "church". With our family nights, there is an abundance of fun loving times and they are actually remembering the lessons much better this way!

Here are some shots of our last few times! I have not taken photos every time and I am not going to post this weekly. I am usually too wrapped up in what we are going to get many shots! I just thought I would post a few pics of the last 2 to encourage you to get out there and have fun while learning about the amazing things God has done!

After we read about Creation, we made play dough together and everyone got time to try making the things of Creation! It could be animals, plants or whatever else they remembered from the bible reading. Yes, we did end up with some dinosaurs!

Making homemade pizza together

Animals!

Daddy LOVES these times! He is eagerly in the middle of every activity! Here he is making play dough animals!

Daddy hanging up the "stars" for the days of Creation.

Everyone got into the homemade tent and imagined being "In the beginning". We had the sound of water, lights going on and off, dirt going around for land...it was really fun.
Each time begins with prayer and reading the selected part of scripture that goes with the lesson and also ends in a time for each person to pray about whatever is on their heart.

Pizza time!

The last one we did...I did not get very many pictures. We went to a huge field and measured out the Ark. Wow, it was HUGE. Then, the kids had races up and down to "feed the animals". Only the Philosopher was able to run the whole distance more than once...everyone else was bushed!

Then, they made an ark at home and put animals in it, decorated it etc.

Here is a shot of the filed before we started measuring things out. Sorry there are not more pictures of the "animal feeding" that was hilarious!

Great Blog article

2009-11-17T10:52:00.001-08:00

This is such a good article! Written by a young lady named Jasmine Bauchan. She encourages us to not depart from fellowship based on non-salvation issues. Always a timely lesson. I have been encouraged to read her thoughts.
Dawn

One of my favorite websites!

2009-11-12T12:04:00.000-08:00

I love this site for Copywork, Notebooks, Lapbooks, Activity Books, Notebooking Pages, and MORE that are themed for Thanksgiving, Christmas, new years etc!
Check it out today!

www.knowledgeboxcentral.com

How we spent our morning

2009-11-07T11:59:00.000-08:00

I found this wonderful book at the library yesterday.
How Mama Brought the Spring - Fran Manushkin - Penguin Group (USA): "One wintry morning, Mama tells Rosy a wondrous story about her own mama, Grandma Beatrice, who could bring spring to cold, cold Minsk by making magic in the kitchen. Together, mother and daughter mix batter and sing a song. Then the batter goes into the pan—pour, swirl, swizzle, FLIP! Soon Papa comes in from the cold and the family shares a special treat. (Hint: A recipe for blintzes is included!)
In this delightfully cozy tale, Holly Berry’s stunning illustrations evoke charming folk traditions and the warm magic made in Mama’s kitchen."

Snuggling up to read together...not all the kids are on my lap, but 2 were listening on the floor.

My princesses helping me with the recipe

Everyone loved the blintzes, especially my husband. I will have to double the recipe next time!

Hereditary spherocytosis

2009-10-24T21:29:00.000-07:00

My dear sweet 4 year old princess has Hereditary spherocytosis. Many have asked me what it is...so I will post it here for those interested.

(From Medicine.net)

HS is a genetic disorder of the red blood cell membrane clinically characterized by anemia, jaundice (yellowing) and splenomegaly (enlargement of the spleen).

In HS the red cells are smaller, rounder, and more fragile than normal. The red cells have a spherical rather than the biconcave-disk shape of the normal red cell. These rotund red cells (spherocytes) are osmotically fragile and less flexible than normal red cells and tend to get trapped in narrow blood passages, particularly in the spleen, and there they break up (hemolyze) leading to hemolytic anemia.

The clogging of the spleen with red cells almost invariably causes splenomegaly. The breakup of the red cells releases hemoglobin and the heme part gives rise to bilirubin, the pigment of jaundice.

The excess bilirubin leads to the formation of gallstones, (this is what happened to her last week) even in childhood, There is also often iron overload due to the excess destruction of iron-rich red cells.

The bone marrow has to work extra hard to make more red cells. So, if in the course of an ordinary viral illness, the bone marrow stops making red cells, the anemia can quickly become profound. This is termed an aplastic crisis.

The treatment of hereditary spherocytosis is to remove the spleen (splenectomy). Although the red cell defect persists, the breakup of the red cells (hemolysis) ceases. Splenectomy, however, is a hazard in young children. Young children without a spleen are at increased risk for overwhelming sepsis (bloodstream infection), particularly with the pneumococcus bacteria. Splenectomy is therefore usually postponed if possible until the age of 3 years.

The prognosis (outlook) after splenectomy is for a normal life and a normal life expectancy

For now, this means that she gets very ill with certian viruses. She has already had 4 emergency transplants in her first 2 years of life. She was stable for 2 years, and now she is having some troubles again.

I am very careful to not expose her to sicknesses, but I have to be even more so now. I am praying for wisdom on where I take her and who I go around...especially with all the flu going around. If she gets sick again, they will want to yank out her spleen and gall bladder sooner than later.

Wave of illnesses!

2009-10-24T20:52:00.000-07:00

This is not a typical post for me, more of a "how we are doing" thing.

I am just reeling from this last week! Tonight is the first time since Friday that I am really able to get out of bed...so I am starting slow...computer time. Looking for a rental to move to (know of one?) and catching up on e-mails etc.

A week ago Thursday, my little princess has some severe abdominal pain that nearly landed us in the ER. It went on for over an hour, in 2 different episodes. We were on the way to the ER at 11:30 at night. Suddenly, her pains stopped...like when you take your car to the mechanic, it will stop making the noise it had been making for weeks!
The Dr. at the ER said to go home and come back if it started again. The next day, I got her into the Dr. for some labs and they said that her levels were OK and we should go home. The level they were talking about was her hematocrit.

She has a special condition that makes things like stomach pain a crisis for her, I am posting on her condition in a separate post for those who are interested in Spherocytosis.

My mom feelings were going off like crazy. I watched her all day Saturday and noticed that she was more yellow and lethargic. So, I called the real experts. Her hematologist at Children's hospital and they advised me to come in right away.

Most doctors have no idea what to even look for with her. Her crit level was ok (that is normally the one that will be way off) but several other levels were not good at all. It takes the experts to notice the warning signs with her.

Sure enough, she had had gall stones that sent her body into crisis. That was what the pains were about.Her liver function was way off and she was not doing good. Thankfully, they did pass and she recovered. By Monday she was ready to go home with warnings that they were going to want to see her in 3 days to talk about removal of her spleen and gall bladder.

Thursday came and we took the kids to Carrie's house so that my husband could go with me to the appointment. He normally does not come with me, but with talk of surgery I did not want to go alone.

We did labs and waited nervously. At the appointment, her doctor told me that her labs had continued to improve since Monday and they were not going to take out her organs right away! Thank God. He told me that he was prepared to do so if her labs had not improved.

We go back in one month to make sure that her levels continue to improve and that she does not have another crisis, so I guess we pray, wait and watch some more.
That same day, we picked up the kids and went to my Dr. in Everett. I was having trouble breathing. It was a terrible appointment. They kept me there for 3 and a half hours doing cardiac tests, chest x-rays and a ton of lab work.

I kept telling them that it was something with my lungs, not a heart thing. After 3 hours, the brilliant Dr. decided that I had anxiety and tried to send me home with anti-anxiety meds. I was very upset with his diagnosis. I knew that I was not having anxiety and that there was something wrong with my lungs.

After trying to convince him that I was not upset, and only making him not believe me more...I just wanted to leave. My 2 year old meanwhile, fell and cut open her forehead, needing 6 stitches. While they were waiting for me! I could hear her crying in the next room and knew that my other children were stressed out as well. Dad was a trooper the whole time.

I told him to do a pregnancy test before I would take anything he ordered. I was not going to take an anti-anxiety med, but he ordered some other things to help my breathing and lung inflammation.

While I was waiting on my meds, they ran down to the pharmacy to stop me from filling the prescription. Yes, I am pregnant with blessing #8. Thank God I did not let them bully me and I demanded a test first.

All I could do was laugh and praise God. I am sure the Dr. thinks that I am crazy. I was lauging with tears rolling down my face for joy.

I refused all his meds and went home with my tired, cranky family. The kids were so good during all of this, but I knew they had had enough.

Sure enough, some of my lab tests came back later that night that I have viral pneumonia. I was not happy with that Dr. who said I had anxiety. I have no history of anxiety but I do have a long history of asthma and bronchitis. Not to mention I had to go in again on Friday, sick as a dog and get some meds.

I am grateful for modern medicine..but why won't they listen to their patients? Or at least pay attention to symptoms? I had a very high heart rate (over 100 while resting and 140 after walking) and a very low blood pressure. I normally have perfect levels on both. I was wheezing and gasping for breath. Obviously, my body is fighting some infection. The fact that I did not have a fever made them dismiss any "real" illness possibility and claim anxiety. Hmmm. This is why I rarely go to the doctor. It takes something like pneumonia to get me even to go.

This has defiantly been a challenging week. A few friends brought meals (thank you!!) and my poor husband has had to take over some cooking. There was no homeschooling this week other than hit and miss math and reading. Such is life.

I am grateful for all of the prayers and support on our behalf.

I am grateful that my mom came to the hospital when my princess was admitted even though it was a LONG drive for her and she was at the Dr/hospital every other day this week with her MIL having surgery.
Now, I am praying to recover soon!

Changes in the wind.

2009-10-18T10:48:00.001-07:00

This past few weeks was filled with so much tension and emotional drama for me. I won't get into all of it in detail, but I will say that I have felt the sting of judgement and the pain of isolation. To purge my soul of this heavy burden, I am writing about it.

I have been on the quest for the radical middle for several years now and that seems to upset some people tremendously. Not the political radical middle that you can find by Googling those words, "The Radical Middle or the Extreme Center is not any wishy-washy place to be, in a world where swimming to any of the ideological shores provides for a much calmer shelter". The radical middle is about finding the balance that God intends even while both sides are pulling on you to come to one extreme or the other.

When one talks about freedom in Jesus...some other assume that I am throwing away my salvation or that I am not following the Lord's commandments anymore.

God is the only one I am accountable to ultimately. I am actually a very conservative person, don't let the nose ring fool you. I take God's word seriously and pray every day for Him to open my eyes and heart more.

Some of my previous blogs have hinted to my journey out of legalism. I am talking about my legalism, not pointing fingers at anyone else, or calling them legalistic.

That is another misunderstanding lately. When I talk about how I am finding freedom from my own legalism people get defensive. I am not talking about anyone but me here.

I used to think that I had to follow all of these man made laws in order to be right with God. No one will say that out right, but that is there plainly.

Everyone will agree that we are saved by grace through faith, and yet we as people will continue to heap burdens, laws and more works on each other. Homeschooling moms especially.

As my friend Diana once said "as a homeschooling mom, we are told to not only grow the wheat together as a school project, but grind the wheat, bake the bread, build the table to serve it on and crochet the tablecloth".

I am guilty of taking on burdens that the Lord never intended for me to carry. Usually because I saw someone that I respected following a certain path. I assumed it was right for me as well.

I was not raised in the church. My past is, shall we say, colorful and dramatic. Perhaps that is why I am so passionate about grace. Jesus took me where I was, as I was, and showed me His love. He did not ask me to do anything other than believe. He did not ask me to clean up or be perfect right away. He asks me to allow him to finish the work he started in me, day by day, little by little.

My first few years as a Christian were the best years of my life. I was totally in love with my bridegroom Jesus. I had an active, exciting relationship with the Lord that was the height of my existence. My husband and I actively reached out to the hurting and shunned of society, the drunks and homeless. We were in a church that was all about helping others and each other.

Slowly, rules and laws crept in. Suddenly, I was told that I could no longer minister to alcoholic women or street people...it was not proper for a Christian woman (along side her husband even) to be around "those" people.

I am ashamed to say that I fell for that lie. We ended up changing churches (our first church closed down) We switched our service in the new church to various areas. For 5 years, we served there and learned a lot. I have to say that those years were just ok. I was still on fire for God, but I was slowly being squeezed by the added pressures of my growing family.

When I reached out for help, or expressed any frustration with trying to learn how to raise small children, I was simply told to stop having children (I had 3 at the time) I was told to not homeschool anymore, after all, I was one of only 2 families in this huge church who did. That was incredibly isolating.

People said that I should be building the church with my service and time. I was already there 3 days a week and one night at prayer meetings. Some times, I was there for a 6 a.m. prayer service. It was not enough. They wanted more and more time from me.

The legalistic lie that I fell for there was that the church was all that mattered. I should allow my children to go to public school, or at least stay in the church nursery so that I can serve the members of the church more. I have had the conviction to allow God to plan our family size and to homeschool since I was pregnant with my first child. No one else even got what I was talking about.

I realized (along with the help of my husband) that I was not in the correct place. My ministry is at home with my family. I am saddened to say that when I stepped down from serving I was quickly forgotten. I guess if you are not active in circles, friendships cease to matter. That was very tough for me to swallow as I am the kind who is very loyal to friendships.

I got my first taste of one form of legalism.

*If you are not giving all your time, money and service to the local church, you are somehow not a good Christian, or not really saved*

I won't even tell you how long I lived in that "rule".

So then, as it does...my life suddenly and radically changed. We moved about 30 miles away from there, to the home we had built in the county. We attended a small, county church. I ran up against some of the same ideas. I was asked to lead bible studies, work in the nursery and "plug" in with the women's ministry team...all while pregnant with twins. Yikes.

I declined to get overly involved. I had 4 more children in 3 years or so. I was busy enough at home. I don't think the pastor ever understood my explanations. I told him that my place was in the home for this season of my life. He would just stare at me as if I was speaking another language.

Eventually I was labeled as a luke-warm Christian because I was not obviously involved. How do I know that? People had the audacity to tell me that they were praying for "my walk" and that I would learn to hear God and follow him more and want to serve him in the local church. OK, that was only one person...but that was enough for me!

I love God's church, but I was overwhelmed with small children, a child with medical issues, homeschooling, running a homeschool support group and taking care of my family in general. I could not be at the church all the time. Needless to say, I never felt "at home" at that church. Most people did not even take the time to speak to me on Sunday.

I know that seems bizarre, but we do that to people all the time, don't we? If someone is not in your circle, they almost cease to exist. If a woman is busy with arm fulls of children, most people just try to sit as far away from her as they can! If she is keeping them with her at church like I did, it is both unpopular and unsupported. My children were not perfect, but we were trying to keep the family together on Sunday.

I won't even tell you some of the terrible things people said to me about that. I was attacked for not wanting to use the church nursery or Sunday school classes. Oh, what we do to people who do not follow our "rules"

Once we left there, I plunged head first into some other teachings and ministries. Many of them, I must say have greatly enriched my life. I learned about God's plan for my life as a wife and mother. I learned to embrace the blessing of each child the Lord gives us more fully and I learned that I was not the only one doing so.

I learned tons about dying to self in service to my family and about letting my husband function in his role as leader of the home. Not a popular ideas in this society at all!

Unfortunately, I went over board with rules. For several years I thought that I had to "look ok" on the outside to appear like a "good Christian" I wrestled with issues like wearing pants, head-coverings etc. My dear husband who is so much more balanced and full of grace than I am would point me to the scriptures on whatever issue I was dealing with.

He would bring me back to the free gift of grace. I do not have to do anything more to earn God's love. He already demonstrated it for me at the cross. God already accepts me as I am. It is His job to work out the dross in my life, not mine. He has his ways.

I spent too long trying to force change in my life. Most of it was not change that God was asking from me, but what others in my life were doing, or preaching on or insisting I do.

I thought that my natural desire to shelter my children was "good enough". We are not a perfect family, but I homeschool and I keep them safe and try to limit the yucky things like T.V. and other negative influences. I tell you, I went to some places a few years ago that made me feel like the worst mother in the world becasue my children have seen Disney movies or have played with other kids before.

I fell into a spiral of intense legalism on my part. Suddenly, nothing I did was good enough. If I took away cable, I had to only allow one DVD a week or they had "too much screen time" and that would somehow endanger our salvation.

If I allowed them to play with other children, I was allowing negative influences into their lives. Even though the only people I knew were other Christian homeschoolers!!

I was encouraged in certain books and discussions to keep them away from all children. My husband drew the line there again. He wants our children to have friends. Again, the only people they ever play with are other Christian, homeschooling kids from families that we know well. How is that not ok?

Then I was encouraged to have the children sitting quietly beside us in social situations instead of playing with other children because either the other kids would corrupt my kids, or my kids would corrupt the others. Oh brother. I began to get paranoid.

My husband again reminded me that God is in charge, not me. I can't police every moment that my children live. I have to allow them to play. My husband wants it that way.

I spent many long seasons trying to force absolute obedience from my children. I was told that if I did not, I was not following God's commands to train up my children. When I finally got over that lie, I saw that I had damaged relationship with my children in the quest to "look" perfect to others.

Again, I would be somewhere with arms full of squirmy toddlers or crying babies and my other little ones would get fidgety or even dare to speak their mind on an issue that was being discussed and other parents give me the eye. You know what I mean...that look that I have somehow failed miserable in my walk with the Lord if my child should dare to move or speak in public.

This world is not child friendly at all. Even those who claim to love children only do so when they are silent and still.

That may work for some families, but not mine. I am not saying that I encourage them to be wild or disobedient at all. I work consistently on discipline. The change in me is that I am no longer working to meet another families idea of what a disciplined child looks like.

I am seeking to know my children, walk along side them and love them. I am trying to love them as much as I can. We spent every day praying together, reading the Word and using every teachable moment to talk about God and His ways. When I was not cultivating relationship with them, they were resistant to what I had to say about God.

When I was yelling at them all the time to look and act a certain way, they did not want to follow me.

I am sorry that I spent so much time on that pursuit. No one was happy.

Now that we are working on issues in a loving, less fear driven way...they are happier and so am I. We took all 7 children to a wedding a week or so ago and they were delightful. We were so proud of them.

They were still and quiet when it was time to be and they were able to talk to adults in an intelligent way when they were talked to. Everyone commented on how well behaved they were. What a blessing to us both.

I was able to go to the wedding without tension and fear. We told them what was going on and how we wanted them to act. When my anxiety and tension were not present at what others might think of my children we had a totally wonderful time together.

Child discipline issues aside. I was also duped into thinking that I could not associate with anyone who was

1) Not a Christian and

2) Not "my kind" of Christian.

I had been told that there were regular Christians, or those who think they are saved, but are not really saved because they do not look as they should and are therefore probably deceived. I was told to avoid those people or my children would be corrupted. I have listened to sermons where the pastor will say that we are saved by grace, but then proceed to give a long list of ways that we need to change in order to get to heaven...huh?

I introduced such legalism into my children that they became afraid of the world in some ways. They were cruelly judgemental of any child that did not line up with what I had told them was acceptable. Yuck.

I am in the process of teaching my children that we are all in different places with God and it is not our place to judge another by our standards.

I have been accused of leaving the narrow path because I am teaching them to have grace and tolerance for others.

Why should that be? I am not telling my children to sin. I am still teaching them to follow God's laws as we understand them. I am just asking them to stop looking at the speck in their brothers eye and look to the log in their own.

I am telling them that what they see on the outside of someone is not always what is really going on. Sometimes, people are in pain, or crisis and they may come across in a way that they would not normally. Sometimes, people are low on faith, struggling and crying out in words or actions. That is not the time to judge them, but support them where they are and pray for them.

I have been in crisis these past 2 years and in many ways I still am struggling. I really needed some grace and love on so many fronts. I am sure that I have always acted the way that people think I should. That does not change my love for God or His ways. That just shows that I am human.

I am praying to understand God's love in a new way. I need Him to enable me to follow Him in the way that he wants me to instead of running after every new wind or doctrine.

Listening to my husband is a big step for me in that area. He really does have the balance that I need.

Emotional things are just easier for him.

So, now we are resting and looking around at the landscape around us and asking God which way to turn. Where can He best use a couple of un-perfect people to minister Christ's love to the hurting. How can we reach out where we need to.

The ministry to stop child sex trafficking that we got involved with has reminded us that there is a big, hurting world out there that we can reach without sacrificing our family in the process. We are praying for how and where to get involved in changing others lives with the gospel.

For now, I choose to close my ears to the ongoing debated and bickering about who is really saved. I am in the Word and in prayer. I choose to err on the side of grace.

I know I need that grace and love more than ever.

Messianic Dancing

2009-10-16T19:56:00.000-07:00

This art work is entitled Dance of Deliverance...beautiful.

My Friend Stephanie invited me to go to a Messianic Dance Workshop with a group called Messianic Dance Camp International. I was really glad that I went. It was very moving for me.

I understand that the dances are intended to focus on worship of Jesus (Yeshua) and fellowship of believers I must say that I did feel a sweet presence of the Lord...however, it was hard for me to really feel like I was worshiping while I was trying not to run into someone!

Apparently, I am not very good at the turning in circles and going the right direction thing...I kept turning the wrong way (left, right...who can tell!) and stepping all over myself and messing up other dancers! They were very forgiving and patient with me! Considering it was my first time and all. I was not embarrassed at all, even when I messed up and that just goes to show how comfortable I felt there!

At one point...I actually got one dance right!

We danced for 3 hours...talk about a work out!

If you get the chance to check this out...go for it! I may see you there!

My dear friend Stephanie.
Her beautiful daughter!

This week in photos.

2009-10-16T19:35:00.000-07:00

Summer's last hurrah...finishing up what is left of the garden!

Valiant knights and beautiful princesses.

We took the kids to a Japanese restaurant that we used to go to when we only had one child. It was very different going with 7 children. For one thing, we needed 2 tables!

It is kind of neat because you can sit on the floor to eat...sort of, there is a hole for us American legs! Most of us would not make it sitting cross legged on the floor for an entire meal. It was nice to eat out again...a rare treat.

Of course we did lots of park days while the sun was still out. Here are just a few shots.

A dear friend of ours got married (finally! lol) this is his first marriage at age 52!

Pumpkin patch!

The best cookies I have ever had.

2009-10-11T18:08:00.000-07:00

Mr. All-around, good at everything...my oldest son, the composer has created his own cookie recipe. Mostly out of necessity. I can't make cookies. I have tried for years, I have even gotten outside help...and I have failed miserable! I can cook really well, even bake pies, cakes and breads but the art of cookie making eludes me.

So, the poor boy had to step up and save the family from the cookie woes. He too a chocolate chip recipe and added his own ingredients. Which he says have to remain a secret!

Yummy....

Making brown sugar

2009-10-11T18:02:00.000-07:00

I have been making brown sugar for a few months now. I like the fact that I can use my really good, unsulphured molasses, save money...AND I never have to worry about running out as long as I can make more!It is super easy to do. I just mix sugar and molasses together in my food processor until it is well blended. You can use as little or as much molasses as you want. The molasses I use have a rich flavor.

Here is today's finished product. I just store it in an air tight jar! Easy and saves $$$ too!

Great article

2009-10-09T09:42:00.000-07:00

In my wanderings and searching I found this article. I think it answers the question well.
I found it here
www.gotquestions.org

Question: "What does the Bible say about legalism? How can a Christian avoid falling into the trap of legalism?"

Answer: The word “legalism” does not occur in the Bible. It is a term Christians use to describe a doctrinal position emphasizing a system of rules and regulations for achieving both salvation and spiritual growth. Legalists believe in and demand a strict literal adherence to rules and regulations. Doctrinally, it is a position essentially opposed to grace. Those who hold a legalistic position often fail to see the real purpose for law, especially the purpose of the Old Testament law of Moses, which is to be our “schoolmaster” or “tutor” to bring us to Christ (Galatians 3:24).

Even true believers can be legalistic. We are instructed, rather, to be gracious to one another: “Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters” (Romans 14:1). Sadly, there are those who feel so strongly about non-essential doctrines that they will run others out of their fellowship, not even allowing the expression of another viewpoint. That, too, is legalism. Many legalistic believers today make the error of demanding unqualified adherence to their own biblical interpretations and even to their own traditions. For example, there are those who feel that to be spiritual one must simply avoid tobacco, alcoholic beverages, dancing, movies, etc. The truth is that avoiding these things is no guarantee of spirituality.

The apostle Paul warns us of legalism in Colossians 2:20-23: “Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world, why, as though you still belonged to it, do you submit to its rules: ‘Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!’? These are all destined to perish with use, because they are based on human commands and teachings. Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.” Legalists may appear to be righteous and spiritual, but legalism ultimately fails to accomplish God’s purposes because it is an outward performance instead of an inward change.

To avoid falling into the trap of legalism, we can start by holding fast to the words of the apostle John, “For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ” (John 1:17) and remembering to be gracious, especially to our brothers and sisters in Christ. “Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand” (Romans 14:4). “You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat” (Romans 14:10).

A word of caution is necessary here. While we need to be gracious to one another and tolerant of disagreement over disputable matters, we cannot accept heresy. We are exhorted to contend for the faith that was once for all entrusted to the saints (Jude 3). If we remember these guidelines and apply them in love and mercy, we will be safe from both legalism and heresy. “Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world” (1 John 4:1).

Love

2009-10-09T09:35:00.000-07:00

Love is what's missing
Love is the key
Love is not easy
Love will set you free.
A child's poem.

So true. Love is missing in all the places that it should be in. As I heard at bible study last night...love is a choice no matter how you feel, that you choose to make. Chose to be loving...to your husband, kids, friends, enemies.

Sounds easy...not easy to walk out.
We are all of us selfish and unloving at times. Mostly when we get "right" and the other person is then "wrong".

I am choosing today to search the scriptures and find out what this love that Jesus talked about really means. I am choosing to be loving no matter what. We will see if I go half crazy by noon!

Hopefully I have will more to say after some searching.

Stop Child Trafficking event

2009-09-26T18:50:00.001-07:00

Today was the event that we (mostly DH) have worked so hard to get ready for. Hours and hours of stage building, tearing down, moving, setting up again...setting up sound systems and toiling hours and hours in the sun.

I have to say that it was all worth it. I know that Dh would agree.

I must admit that I am feeling a bit raw tonight. I was shamefully unaware of the far reaches of the problem of child sex trafficking in the world and in our very own backyard. I had no idea. I am finding myself getting angry as I think about it. There is so much I did not know. I probably did not want to know.

It is easier for me to sit in my home baking and fretting over the insignificant cares of my world, caught up in my own issues than to think of a room full of girls in Thailand.. ages 8 and up with numbers around their necks...waiting night after night to be sold over and over to white travelers from the U.S.

It is easier for me to get wrapped up in the "serious" debates on head coverings, dresses vs. pants or the "right" homeschool curriculum than it is for me to think about innocent children, stolen from their homes...or worse yet, sold by their parents to pimps to walk the red light districts the world over. Girls and young women who are hooked on drugs to make them more controllable. Girls who are as young as 8.

Tonight, more than 5,000 children will be forced into a room with a stranger for the first time where they will experience horrors that no child should ever have to endure.
How about these stats?

300,000 children in the U.S. are at risk every year for commercial sexual exploitation. -U.S. Department of Justice

600,000 – 800,000 people are bought and sold across international borders each year; 50% are children, most are female. The majority of these victims are forced into the commercial sex trade. – U.S. Department of State, 2004, Trafficking in Persons Report, Washington, D.C.

An estimated 14,500 to 17,500 foreign nationals are trafficked into the United States each year. The number of U.S. citizens trafficked within the country is even higher, with an estimated 200,000 American children at risk for trafficking into the sex industry. – U.S Department of Justice Report to Congress from Attorney General John Ashcroft on U.S. Government Efforts to Combat Trafficking in Persons

There are open sex slavery cases in all 50 States. An estimated 10,000 sex slaves exist in New York City. – Red Light Children Campaign

An estimated 2.5 million children, the majority of them girls, are sexually exploited in the multi billion dollar commercial sex industry – UNICEF

Investigators and researchers estimate the average predator in the U.S. can make more than $200,000 a year off one young girl. – NBC Report by Teri Williams

I was particularly moved by what one of the speakers (Phil Manginelli) said. I don't have the exact quote, but it was something like this....How can we call ourselves lovers of Jesus and not be stirred by the things that move him?

I agree totally. The church has been deceived into pouring all their mental energy into legalistic pursuits and arguments on what color to paint the sanctuary. We have had our gaze drawn away to insignificant issues, non salvation issues that we will condemn each other with ruthlessly.

Issues of what we wear, what we eat and drink or what music we listen to for pity sake. We have been deceived by a slight of hand. We are raptly staring at the sleeve to see if indeed there is nothing up there...all the while, the great enemy of our souls is pulling the wool over our eyes concerning the real issues.

If he can get us to bite and devour each other, to judge and to hide away from the world and the precious lost souls dying all around us every day... in an attempt to not corrupt ourselves by those same precious souls) then children will continue to be sold onto slavery of the most heinous kind. Drug addicts and alcoholics will continue to sleep on the sidewalks in front of our coffee shops and people will continue to abuse and debase each other the world over.

It is time to pray and do the things that are not easy. I know, no one wants to think of child prostitution it is an ugly, uncomfortable topic that does not fit into our ordered lives...no one want to think about these children...but millions are...the pedophiles are thinking about them, the pimps and traffickers are thinking about them. You know what? Jesus is thinking about them and it is time that we did as well.
We can at least start there.

The stage is almost finished!

2009-09-24T12:44:00.000-07:00

Many of you know that my dh is not only building the stage, but running sound for the Walk to end child trafficking event this weekend. I thought you might like to see some pictures of his progress.

To remind you about the event...check out my post on it here

A night out with mom

2009-09-22T20:29:00.001-07:00

We try to take a kid out each week, just one parent and one kid. Sometimes it is just a trip to the store, to run an errand or something like that. Other times, we try to take them somewhere and get to know them more. They don't seem to care where we are heading, just that they are getting some much needed one-on-one time.

Here is my beautiful 2 year old and I having a drink at Starbucks and a chat. I think she did all the talking! It is amazing what they have to say when you get them away from the chatter and noise of the house.

Our 12th anniversary!

2009-09-22T13:04:00.000-07:00

So, we got a babysitter (thanks Tara T) and had a "walk-about" day in Seattle. We love the Pike Place and the Wharf. We walked and ate and just talked all day! It was great. We went to all the shops and book stores that we have not gone to for years...stores where little hands can't go!
Thank God for 12 years of marriage!

The best BBQ I have ever had!!

Street performer that we saw. Very fun!

Bolivian food for lunch over looking the market.

Week in photos

2009-09-13T14:21:00.000-07:00

Pre-school and Plums!

Science experiment on air pressure. The can made a huge pop and crushed as soon as it was put into the cool water. The boys loved it! Dad is the science teacher this year.

School started on August 31st.

Thoughts on homeschooling

2009-09-05T18:27:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking a lot about my homeschool journey this week. Some about the year ahead but mostly about the transformation that homeschooling has birthed in me.

How many of you think that homeschooling is about educating your children?

How many of you have been through the fire of homeschooling enough to know that homeschooling is also about God shaping, molding and conforming you and your family into the image of Christ?

When I was pregnant with my first, I knew that I would homeschool. I did not know anything about it, did not know anyone who DID it.

I just knew that was what God wanted for our family. It was been non-negotiable ever since. What I did not know, what I could not prepare for...was the amazing journey and where it would take me.

When I started preparing to homeschool, I read every book I could get my hands on. I investigated learning styles, curriculum choices, teaching styles etc. I am a planner...so I "planned" it all out. Ha Ha.

I joined a homeschool support group when my son was 4. I walked into that first meeting expecting to be told "how" to homeschool. What was the secret curriculum that I needed to make my kids turn out OK?
By the time I actually started homeschooling my first...1 baby had come and another was fast on his heels. I had 3 boys suddenly who did not fit my "plan".

I was doing a very structured Classical approach to education...which meant a lot of prep time and about 4 hours at the table for my first grader. Each day. It was intense. I did not know any better.

By the time that same child was 6...I was on bed rest with twins. 5 days after he turned 7...I had my 4th and 5th babies. How do you think that year of homeschooling went?

Yeah, not according to plan.

Oh, I tried (and failed) to educate him in that style. I rammed my way through lesson planning and daily assignments. By the time he was in second grade...he was starting to hate school. So was I. School to us was the time when all the fun stopped and we sat down at the table to learn math facts and other uninteresting things.

School was a huge pressure and stress to me. I can see why so many put their children in school. I say I can understand..not that I will. I can also see that God has such an easier, softer way to homeschool if we will only submit to His plan...but I am jumping ahead of myself.

I decided that what I needed was more FUN for our schooling. We went on more field trips, science fairs, parties, play dates...you name it. I also took over the leadership of that same homeschool support group I had joined around this same time. Yes, I am half crazy.

I also began to learn that homeschooling families grow their own organic gardens...so I added that to my plate. I learned that I needed to make my own breads, check! Then, I had to can all the things I grew in my garden, preserve jams and jellies and sew our clothing. Check, check (I can't sew...so I let that one go!)

I just kept adding things left and right. Not only did I have 5 children in 7 years...I was quickly pregnant again with #6 and STILL keeping up this insane schedule.

I would push myself harder each day because, after all...this is all about education for the children, all about their future. I was still looking for the thing that would guarantee their salvation and their success in life.

To coin a song that many of you probably have never heard..I was "going off the rails on a crazy train"

I could have possibly gone on this way until I went mad and put the kids in school.
Fortunately, crisis hit our lives.

Strange to see the words 'fortunately' and 'crisis' together huh? I know.

We did enter very hard times. We lost our house (the one we had built 7 years earlier) we lost all of our vehicles, employees and all that went with our business. My DH was a contractor, building lots of houses and over night it seemed, the market dried up. We moved and grieved our losses.

Around the time school was supposed to start...I just could not get out the lesson planner and force myself to plan anything. It hit me that there is no curriculum that is going to be a cure all for my fears and anxieties concerning homeschooling.

There was nothing to "fill the gaps" or make them into what I wanted for them. I was also expecting our 7th baby. I love having children and I did not want to be a raving maniac every day. I realized I had better figure out a way to be sane while caring for them. Who can relate?

All the planning, running around, un Godly expectations and unrealistic goals had to be torn down. In all areas. Not only with my homeschooling, but also in dealing with other's expectations of me and my children, with housekeeping, serving outside the home or staying home and being isolated etc. I was desperately in need of balance...the kind that God gives.

So, I decided to have a relaxed year of schooling and just go with the rhythms of grace as I sought God's way. I could not handle any more pressure. Everything came to a near halt.

I found that I am not very good at going with grace. There was too much that I was trying to control still. It took the entire school year to break me of that fear and control of my children's education and future. Fears that I thought I had previously dealt with.

When I did our annual testing after that time of "unschooling" I was afraid to see the results.

To my amazement the scores were just as well, if not better than they had in the years that I had been super structured.

I am structured again this year, but it is in God's parameters. I found that for me, the loose schedule did not work. With 7 children, I need structure of we do not get anything done. The difference this year is that the schedule is working for me, I am not working for the schedule. The fear is gone. This is a huge deal. Bigger than can be expressed in a blog. God set me free from fear concerning my children's education! After all, HE is in control of their lives.

I went through a lot of transformation as I learned of God's never ending love for me. His grace and mercy, and the awesomeness of His plans. His ways are not my ways. I am on the other side of some very dark days now.

One thing I have learned is that I need to recognize what season I am walking through. Firstly to be able to function properly in that season. One does not go around in snow boots in July just because "that is what has worked in the past". We also do not try to force the rain to stop because we think there should be sun that day (OK, for those of us who live in Washington...we may have had that wish!) We are not in control of the seasons of our lives, but need to accept and thrive in whatever season God has us in.

Secondly, I need to recognize the season as such so that I can be encouraged that it will pass as seasons do, and I will not always be walking in the hard times (or good times, or sad times, or glad times etc) Each season has it's own gifts and challenges. I am thankful for that.

There is just too much to even begin to write about concerning what God did in me in those dark times. Perhaps when I get my head around it...

For now, it is my passion to reach out to new homeschoolers and encourage them to first pray about their year before they investigate the latest and greatest curriculum, get involved in 37 co-op's that promise to teach them everything they need to know, or plan extensive and elaborate outings and trips to "enrich" the children's education.

Pray and talk to your husband. God's way is the right way. He may want you to go in a direction that you had not even thought of.

Homeschooling allows the privilege of getting to know our children and teach them about math, reading, and science...but also about the Lord. That should be our first "subject" in school each day.

A woman that many of you know said this recently " Whatever you did last year, don't do it again this year in your homeschool. What ever you do, seek first to be Christlike in all you do"

If we we are teaching math, but not being Christlike while doing it...we are on the wrong track. If we have the BEST curriculum, but our attitude while we teach it is not Christlike, we might as well throw it out. If we have the perfectly kept house and run all the play dates and co-op's without fault but we are not Christlike to our husbands and children....it is worthless.

You know the scripture 1 Cor 13:1
"If I speak in tongues of men and of angels but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal."

Apply that to your homeschooling. If you are not loving those sweet babies as you go over their times tables again...clang, clang, clang. You get the idea.

Seek first to be Christlike in all you do. In your lesson planning and your daily schedule. I am on that quest with you.
Dawn

Duggar announcement

2009-09-01T23:29:00.001-07:00

I just want to say congratulations to the Duggar family, who just announced that they are expecting their 19th baby!! What an incredible blessing from God. Children are a gift from the Lord. I does my heart good to see a couple embracing this truth.

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Catching up in photos

2009-08-13T13:27:00.000-07:00

Just because he is so cute
My twins completed swim lessons!

On the go at the Stillaguamish festival of the River (FREE)

Fun on the river!

Riding quads with our neighbors at the river

My second born turned 8!

Happy Birthday Darth Vader!

There was a party!

Daddy got him his own birthday helicopter ride!

Mom's attempt at the cat cake he asked me to make him!

2009 WATCH conference

2009-08-10T10:27:00.001-07:00

I was blessed to be able to go to the WATCH homeschool conference this year.

I am not a big conference person. When I first began "official" homeschooling 8 years ago, I went to a few of them. I walked away mostly overwhelmed and with too many (expensive) books that I just HAD to have from the conference vendors hall. By the way, I don't think I used half of those books that were promising to educate my preschooler to a Harvard level.

I also checked out a conference a year a half ago that most of my friends were raving about. I walked away from there feeling like a huge failure as a homeschooler, mother and wife.
Not only did I not have 13 children in homemade, matching dresses all sitting through long lectures about the Pythagorean theorem without so much as batting an eye, but I did not grind all my own stuff, bake all my own bread and build the table to serve the bread on.

I did not prepare gourmet meals in a spotlessly clean house while said children were singing hymns as they were scrubbing the molding without being asked to do so.

I was not creating a flawlessly wonderful, gap free curriculum and lesson plan to execute it faithfully every day close our books one day 180 because we have finished it!

We DO not take elaborate trips to historical Jamestown to supplement our history. We do not volunteer to teach the blind to see, or whatever.

Are you kidding me? I am biased, I know. When I went to this conference back then....my life was in crisis. Serious crisis. My family was a mess, we were hurting units. Had I been on the mountain top instead of in the valley, I might have gotten a different reaction from it.

In all fairness, as a side note about all this, I am asking myself now....how can I talk to people and present my life and truth in a way that will not make them feel "less than"? Cause' you never know where someone is at personally.

You may share some great epiphany that the Lord has shown you on organizing your homeschool record keeping, for example that could totally bring some poor mother down.

Someone who is struggling to get out of bed each day.

Someone who is sure they are"the only one".

Pray about what you share and how it will affect others. Are we bragging or are we sharing with a desire to help someone. Do they really need to hear what you have to say, or is the need more that you have to say it? I have been guilty of sitting in on conversations where we all "one up" each other many times. "You use such-and-such curriculum...oh yeah? We finished that last year. Your 4 year old is reading? Oh, yeah...my 4 year old just wrote her first dissertation...." you know that conversation!

Overheard at the conference on this topic "be more quick to share your failures than your successes"...for that very reason. I get it.

I actually believed that I was the only one who did not do the things that I thought I saw these other families doing. Not that there is anything wrong with the things I talked about. More power to ya'.

What is wrong here, what is missing here is that we portray the LIE that this is what our lives are really like, all the time and we are somehow closer to God, or more holy than those who are not that way.

We will carry out this lie at all costs. We will drive our selves to exhaustion trying to be Martha Stewart and Julia Child every day. We will destroy our relationships with our precious children in attempts to make sure that they look perfectly put together and obedient at all times.

Ask me how I know.

The Lord has slowly been setting me free from many of these lies and our homeschooling has changed over the years. I am so grateful for that.

So, I avoided conferences for a long time. I just could not walk through the crowds of the ones who were "doing it all right" while I was the only one falling apart.

Well, now I know that all of that is not real. It just is not real.

SO...about WATCH. What I loved about WATCH this year...

I saw my friend Jennifer...who traveled many miles across the state to come to this! Always a treat to see her.

I got to see my friend Diana Waring. A wonderful woman of God who homeschooled her 3 children all the way through and is the author of a fabulous history curriculum (among other great books) She has mentored me, prayed for me and encouraged me more times than I can count. In some of my darkest days, she talked me through.

I also was privileged to hear Ken Ham from Answers in Genesis as the keynote speaker. There is not enough room on my blog to tell about this ministry. I encourage you all to go to this website now. I was able to buy several of his books. They will change my life forever. You will be amazed at how much, how deeply the lie of evolution has colored our lives...even as Christians. I was inspired again to stand on the Word of God on all issues.

The other speaker that really touched my heart was Todd Wilson of Family man ministries. He is the one who carried the message to Get Real! To focus on what is important and to give grace to ourselves and others. He is an author and hilarious in his approach to speaking. I laughed until I cried! Check him out. He speaks a lot to dads...get your husband signed up for his e-newsletters.

What I felt from this whole conference was the message of GRACE and FREEDOM. I have often heard Diana speak about grace and freedom in Jesus, about taking off the mask and being real (or in our cases, the homeschool mom jumper! LOL) I have often heard her pray for moms to be set free.

This wish, this spirit, this cry of her heart, along with the others at WATCH whom I was blessed to meet this weekend....was evident in every workshop I attended, every conversation I had and even the quiet moments I found along the way.

I could tell that they had been praying for moms to be set free. I could feel it. I pray that the moms that I saw there felt it too.

You know the ones...new to homeschooling, wild eyed and desperate to "get it all right". Remember those days? I do.

Let me tell you now. It is not in how you homeschool, it is not in what curriculum you buy, what schedule you follow or what program you implement. It is not found in what you wear or don't wear, if you watch TV or not, what your house looks like, if you grind all your own stuff or if you sew your own dresses.

IT...the IT that we are desperately seeking...the gnawing fear that drives us to find IT....

can only be found in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and in trusting him to lead you in your homeschooling. In standing on the flawless Word of God.

He will fill the gaps (yes, there will be gaps in your child's education but do you think that if they were in public school those gaps would not be there?)

He will show you what is the most important thing about your homeschooling. Relationship with your children. Leading them to Jesus. Loving them. He will show you that He created each of your children to be exactly as they are and He gave them to you exactly as you are for a reason. There is no better mother for your children.

IT is really in those things. I am striving to remember everyday what the most important things are.

Won't you strive for that too?

Seattle Walk to Stop Child Trafficking Now!

2009-07-30T14:10:00.000-07:00

Join us on 9/26/09 as we take a stand against child sex slavery by walking to STOP CHILD TRAFFICKING NOW!

History will be made this weekend as individuals, corporations, religious organizations, communities and student groups come from all over to participate in the inaugural Walk to Stop Child Trafficking Now. This global event is slated to attract thousands of people who will walk throughout the world.

Visit here to learn more about the walk, and the issue.

In addition to the walk, there will be live music, speakers, and an advocacy fair where you can learn more about what different groups in Washington are doing to fight human trafficking.

Sign up for the Seattle Walk

My dh is going to be the sound guy at this event, and some good friends of ours are hosting and organizing. I hope to see you there. It is a worthy cause.

2009-07-08T10:30:00.000-07:00

I was recently asked about hearing the voice of God and this was my response...makes for good blogging.

What I have learned about hearing God's voice;
When I was a new believer, full of zeal and passion, I assumed that almost every thought I heard in my head was the voice of God. Mostly it was things about what my "calling" was or what was good for my life. (I believed I was to teach and set the captives free who were bound by demonic oppressions, addictions etc) I believe that I was to have a huge ministry based on all the "good" things God told me. Now, obviously nearly 13 years later....I do not have what I thought I heard I would have. Yes, I have done some Christian 12 step work with some women and I have been involved in prayer ministries setting free captives. Yes, I have lead several small groups and ministered in those ways. It was been few and far between according to what I thought it would be.

I asked myself if that meant that I had heard incorrectly, or if the voice I heard was indeed not God, but my own vain ambitions and striving. I asked myself "Why do you want to hear God's voice?" That may sound like a silly question, but motives are important in anything we do. The Bible says this about God's Word: "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." (Hebrews 4:12)

I realized that I was only wanting to hear what I wanted to hear from God. I believed that I was ready for all that God has for me....back then.
Now, these things may well come true, someday, so I may have heard God correctly and it may not have been just my thoughts. What I have learned however is that I have LONG way to go before I am ready for anything like that! God is not on my time schedule. His will is not at my whim.

I have also learned to hear God through his word. There is enough in there to keep me busy for eternity! I have learned that God does not give "new" revelations. Ecclesiastes 1:9-14 says, What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.
I learned that there are so many things in scripture that God needs me to work on first. Take for example these verses...(I will let you look them up) Psalm 127:3-5 and Titus 2:3-5. It has taken me 6 years to even begin to follow these small scriptures even a tiny bit! It is a long and hard uphill battle of daily dying to self to even begin to get it. These verses are God speaking to me actively.

On a more general, personal level for you...what about 1 Cor. 13:1-13? How is God speaking to you (all of us) in this section of scripture? Are we doing these things?
The Lord commanded us to be holy as He is holy, to be "holy in every aspect of (our) conduct" (see 1 Pt 1:15-16). Holiness is the very character of God, and our heavenly Father wants His children to act and look like Him. We are called to be a "holy nation" (1 Pt 2:9), and the Lord is coming back a final time for a holy Church, "holy and immaculate, without stain or wrinkle or anything of that sort" (Eph 5:27). Without holiness, we cannot go to heaven and see God (Heb 12:14).

The Lord will make us holy (1 These 5:23-24), but we must first thirst for holiness. However, we are already hungering and thirsting for the things of the world. Because we are stuffed with the spiritual junk food of the world, we have lost our appetite for holiness, the food of God's word (Mt 4:4), and the nourishment of the Lord's body and blood (Jn 6:55). "Anxieties over life's demands, and the desire for wealth, and cravings of other sorts" choke off the seed of God's word (Mk 4:19). "The flesh lusts against the Spirit and the Spirit against the flesh; the two are directly opposed" (Gal 5:17). "Lust indulged starves the soul" (Prv 13:19). We are spiritually anorexic and starving. Our life-style has become a "death-style."

I had to learn those things the hard way and slowly begin to see what God was really saying. It has little to do with my personal life, wealth or happiness. It has everything to do with learning to follow the Lord on HIS terms and to step into line with HIS plan that has been set in place from before the beginning of time. I am but a speck in the grand scheme of things. I have a vital role to play in the story of the world, but it is NOT about ME or what I want. It is all about Jesus.

So, as you can see...my ideas on God speaking to me have radically changed over time.

I am very busy daily and I often feel the loss of my quiet prayer time with the Lord. In this season of my life, there is not much time for anything. The demands of caring for 7 small children, homeschooling, housekeeping, meal planning, shopping...the list is endless and I often feel overwhelmed with all that I have to do each day. This is also part of my growth. God has given me these children, and He calls them a blessing to me. I am to learn that. Even when I am too busy to care for myself properly, I am called to selflessly give up more to serve the Lord in this time of my life. It will not always be this way, just as you will not always be where you are now. Be where you are now, and look for the lessons and the blessings of your hard season. More is learned in the hard times then the easy times. Better to be in the valley, crying out for God's help than to be on the mountain top believing that you have no need of God.

God has shown me through many humbling lessons that I am not in control even of my own life. As much as I want to be, as much as I LONG to be. I am not in control even of when I draw my next breath, or how my body will behave. To be on bed rest for 3 months with a twin pregnancy, not able to even walk without heart palpitations for the excess water and weight and strain of growing 2 people in my body showed me that! There are many such lessons.

My job it trust and obey, and that is enough to keep me occupied forever!

Take it slowly, you have eternity to follow Jesus now. Learn how he wants to mold you character first, then see about the duties, activities, jobs etc. that you believe he may want for you. God always looks to the inner man first, the heart issues. Those are of highest importance.

Mom and Dad get away!

2009-07-06T15:36:00.001-07:00

We were in Birch Bay overnight thanks to a friend who offered us use of her condo (free) but we found this awesome little flower shop in historic Fairhaven. I fell in love with this place!

Pina colada bananas over ice cream. The pilot LOVED this dessert.

Dinner was chicken breast stuffed with prosciutto and fontina cheese, sauteed mushrooms, fresh green beans salad with dried cherries, toasted pine nuts and spring greens. Orange juice really brought the flavors out.

We splurged once and ate an appetizer at a restaurant. This was too yummy!

This was a mom and dad get away...but of course the little one was along with us!

Recent pictures

2009-07-06T15:29:00.000-07:00

I can't seen to get pictures of all 7 of my kiddos at once! Oh well, here are a few random shots!
Bible time with Daddy before bed.

The spray park in Everett.

Rope swingin' on the 4th.

Baking day

2009-07-06T15:18:00.001-07:00

Cherries were .88 cents a pound at a local supermarket this weekend...so we made a fresh cherry pie today. Yummy. It turned out great for my first cherry pie!

I also made some raspberry muffins. We have a huge raspberry bush in the yard and I could not wait for them to be ripe enough to use!

Here is a great recipe for the muffins.

1 cup kefir

1 egg

1/2 cup applesauce (we can a ton every fall!)

added to 2 3/4 cup bulk muffin mix that we keep on hand

1/2-3/4 cup raspberries (we like more than less!)

cover muffin mix with kefir and let sit overnight (here is why...Soaking, fermenting, or sprouting the grain before cooking or baking will neutralize the phytic acid, releasing nutrients for absorption. This process allows enzymes, lactobacilli and other helpful organisms to not only neutralize the phytic acid, but also to break down complex starches, irritating tannins and difficult-to-digest proteins including gluten.
The first stage of preparation in making whole grain porridges or baked recipes, is to soak the whole grains or whole grain flour in an acid medium such as buttermilk, yogurt, or other cultured milk, or in water with whey, lemon juice or vinegar added. As little as 7 hours soaking will neutralize a large portion of the phytic acid in grains. Twelve to 24 hours is even better with 24 hours yielding the best results- Sue Gregg) BTW, I do this for our whole grain pancakes, our rices and grains as well. A little effort will be worth it!

lightly beat egg and add to mix, add applesauce, fold in berries.

Bake at 400 for 18-20 minutes.

You may want a double batch for a larger family. My crew ate these in the blink of an eye!

Are you a lover or prostitute?

2009-06-28T09:45:00.000-07:00

By: David Ryser
A number of years ago, I had the privilege of teaching at a school of ministry. My students were hungry for God, and I was constantly searching for ways to challenge them to fall more in love with Jesus and to become voices for revival in the Church. I came across a quote attributed most often to Rev. Sam Pascoe.

It is a short version of the history of Christianity, and it goes like this: Christianity started in Palestine as a fellowship; it moved to Greece and became a philosophy; it moved to Italy and became an institution; it moved to Europe and became a culture; it came to America and became an enterprise. Some of the students were only 18 or 19 years old--barely out of diapers--and I wanted them to understand and appreciate the import of the last line, so I clarified it by adding, “An enterprise. That’s a business.”

After a few moments Martha, the youngest student in the class, raised her hand. I could not imagine what her question might be. I thought the little vignette was self-explanatory, and that I had performed it brilliantly. Nevertheless, I acknowledged Martha’s raised hand, “Yes, Martha.” She asked such a simple question, “A business? But isn’t it supposed to be a body?” I could not envision where this line of questioning was going, and the only response I could think of was, “Yes.”

She continued, “But when a body becomes a business, isn’t that a prostitute?” The room went dead silent. For several seconds no one moved or spoke. We were stunned, afraid to make a sound because the presence of God had flooded into the room, and we knew we were on holy ground.

All I could think in those sacred moments was, “Wow, I wish I’d thought of that.” I didn’t dare express that thought aloud. God had taken over the class. Martha’s question changed my life. For six months, I thought about her quesion at least once every day. “When a body becomes a business, isn’t that a prostitute?”

There is only one answer to her question. The answer is “Yes.”

The American Church, tragically, is heavily populated by people who do not love God. How can we love Him? We don’t even know Him; and I mean really know Him. What do I mean when I say “really know Him?” Our understanding of knowing and knowledge stems from our western culture (which is based in ancient Greek philosophical thought). We believe we have knowledge (and, by extension, wisdom) when we have collected information. A collection of information is not the same thing as knowledge, especially in the culture of the Bible (which is an eastern, non-Greek, culture).

In the eastern culture, all knowledge is experiential. In western/Greek culture, we argue from premise to conclusion without regard for experience--or so we think. An example might be helpful here. Let us suppose a question based upon the following two premises: First, that wheat does not grow in a cold climate and second, that England has a cold climate. The question: Does wheat grow in England? The vast majority of people from the western/Greek culture would answer, “No. If wheat does not grow in a cold climate and if England has a cold climate, then it follows that wheat does not grow in England.” In the eastern culture, the answer to the same question, based on the same premises, most likely would be, “I don’t know. I’ve never been to England.”

We laugh at this thinking, but when I posed the same question to my friends from England, their answer was, “Yes, of course wheat grows in England. We’re from there, and we know wheat grows there.” They overcame their cultural way of thinking because of their life experience. Experience trumps information when it comes to knowledge.
A similar problem exists with our concept of belief. We say we believe something (or someone) apart from personal experience.

This definition of belief is not extended to our stockbroker, however. Again, allow me to explain. Suppose my stockbroker phones me and says, “I have a hot tip on a stock that is going to triple in price within the next week. I want your permission to transfer $10,000 from your cash account and buy this stock.” That’s a lot of money for me, so I ask, “Do you really believe this stock will triple in price, and so quickly?” He/she answers, I sure do.” I say, “That sounds great! How exciting!

So how much of your own money have you invested in this stock?” He/she answers, “None.” Does my stockbroker believe? Truly believe? I don’t think so, and suddenly I don’t believe, either. How can we be so discerning in the things of this world, especially when they involve money, and so indiscriminate when it comes to spiritual things? The fact is, we do not know or believe apart from experience. The Bible was written to people who would not understand the concepts of knowledge, belief, and faith apart from experience. I suspect God thinks this way also.

So I stand by my statement that most American Christians do not know God--much less love Him. The root of this condition originates in how we came to God. Most of us came to Him because of what we were told He would do for us. We were promised that He would bless us in life and take us to heaven after death. We married Him for His money, and we don’t care if He lives or dies as long as we can get His stuff. We have made the Kingdom of God into a business, merchandising His anointing.

This should not be.

We are commanded to love God, and are called to be the Bride of Christ--that’s pretty intimate stuff. We are supposed to be His lovers. How can we love someone we don’t even know? And even if we do know someone, is that a guarantee that we truly love them?

Are we lovers or prostitutes? I was pondering Martha’s question again one day, and considered the question, “What’s the difference between a lover and a prostitute?” I realized that both do many of the same things, but a lover does what she does because she loves. A prostitute pretends to love, but only as long as you pay. Then I asked the question, “What would happen if God stopped paying me?”

For the next several months, I allowed God to search me to uncover my motives for loving and serving Him. Was I really a true lover of God? What would happen if He stopped blessing me? What if He never did another thing for me? Would I still love Him? Please understand, I believe in the promises and blessings of God. The issue here is not whether God blesses His children; the issue is the condition of my heart. Why do I serve Him? Are His blessings in my life the gifts of a loving Father, or are they a wage that I have earned or a bribe/payment to love Him?

Do I love God without any conditions? It took several months to work through these questions. Even now I wonder if my desire to love God is always matched by my attitude and behavior. I still catch myself being disappointed with God and angry that He has not met some perceived need in my life. I suspect this is something which is never fully resolved, but I want more than anything else to be a true lover of God. So what is it going to be? Which are we, lover or prostitute?

There are no prostitutes in heaven, or in the Kingdom of God for that matter, but there are plenty of former prostitutes in both places. Take it from a recovering prostitute when I say there is no substitute for unconditional, intimate relationship with God. And I mean there is no palatable substitute available to us (take another look at Matthew 7:21-23 sometime). We must choose.

Update on my previous post

2009-06-24T13:58:00.000-07:00

From HSLDA: Delegation at UN Disconnects Phone--

Friends: Congratulations!

The office of UN Ambassador Susan Rice has been inundated with calls! (GREAT JOB GETTING ON IT!)

The first phone line we sent out has been completely shut down, and the voice mail system for all of their lines has been crashed.

This means you can't likely get through, so what do you do?

You no longer need to call the U.S. office at the UN. Instead, please contact the White House comment line at 202-456-1111.

It may be busy--we have kept it busy all day--but keep trying. It is only open from 9 to 5 EDT, so time is limited.

However, you can also send them a message online at http://www.whitehouse.gov/CONTACT/.

Also, contact your senators. Find their contact information by using our Legislative Toolbox at http://www.hslda.org/toolbox . Congressional offices also close at 5 (EDT), so try to get to them quickly--or call tomorrow!Please visit http://www.parentalrights.org/ for more up-to-date information on this campaign before calling our office.Thank you so much, and keep up the great work!

Michael Farris

HSLDA Chairman

Stop The CRC!!

2009-06-24T11:01:00.000-07:00

Call Now to Stop UN Children’s Treaty

If you are unfamiliar with the UN CRC, go here.

Please read about this dangerous treaty that would take the place of our constitution.

Got this from HSLDA today.

Monday in a Harlem middle school, U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Susan Rice told a group of 120 students that administration officials are actively discussing “when and how it might be possible to join” (that is, ratify) the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (CRC). As before, she also communicated what a disgrace it is that the U.S. would stand with only Somalia against such a widely accepted treaty.
This is the first direct public statement by the Obama administration that it will seek ratification of the UN CRC.
In my 30 years of political involvement, I have learned to recognize this as what is called a “trial balloon.” Like in World War I trench warfare, our opponents have “sent up a balloon” to see if it will draw fire. If things remain quiet, they will proceed with their plans to push for ratification of the CRC in the U.S. Senate. To discourage them from doing so, we need to make sure that our voices are heard with unmistakable clarity. We must let the Obama administration know that we oppose this anti-family, anti-American treaty.
Action
Here’s what we need you all to do:
1. Call the White House comments line at 202-456-1111. Tell them you heard the administration wants to ratify the CRC, and you strongly oppose this giving away of U.S. sovereignty to the UN. Also, keep in mind that this treaty gives the government jurisdiction to override any decision made by any parent if the government thinks that a better decision can be made—even if there is no proof of any harm.
2. Call the Ambassador Susan Rice’s office at the United Nations. Tell her that you want her to represent the United States to the world rather than trying to get the United States to go along with international law initiated by the UN. Her office number is 212-415-4000.
3. Contact your senators and urge them to oppose ratification of this treaty. (Find your senators’ contact information by using HSLDA’s Legislative Toolbox.) Ask them also to defeat it once and for all by cosponsoring SJRes 16—the Parental Rights Amendment.
It is very important that we speak up right now. Please call before you close this email!
Michael Farris
HSLDA Chairman

Homeschooling High school Seminar

2009-06-22T12:29:00.000-07:00

Friends,

We have an oportunity to host a HOME SCHOOL FOR HIGH SCHOOL SEMINAR AND PORTFOLIO SESSION with Kathleen Duncan in September 2009. Kathleen has traveled through the Southeast for the past eight years and is willing to come to the Richland area for a one-day event. More details about the event and the Duncan family are below.

We must have 20 families committed to attend before July 15 to make this happen. Those 20 families will need to write a check for $50 to cover the Seminar registration or pay via Paypal on Kathleen's web page. http://www.homeschoolforhighschool.com (If the event is cancelled, you will receive a full refund.)

Please email me if you are interested in attending this event or in helping me with organization, set-up, snacks, and clean-up. I need to know by the end of the week who is interested so we can finalize our plans.

Thank you,
Dawn

Home School for High School Seminar and Portfolio Session
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Early Registration Deadline will be August 28, 2009

Schedule for the evening:
Registration 3:30-4:00Portfolio Session- 4:00-5:30Break - 5:30 - 6Home School for High School Seminar - 6-10 with short break in middle

Location - TBA
Home School for High School Seminar 6-10
Seminar Fees -
Cost per family: $50 if paid by the Early Registration Date
$60 if paid at the door or after the Early Registration Date

Optional Portfolio Session Fee -
$40 if paid by the Early Registration Date
$50 if paid at the door or after the Early Registration Date

Teens are welcome to come with their parents.

During the Seminar, Mrs. Kathleen Duncan will present information about Home Schooling for High School. Each family attending the seminar will receive a binder containing more than 200 pages covering topics such as
Getting Started
Course Development
Record Keeping
Standardized Tests: PSAT, ACT, SAT & SAT II, GED
Accreditation
How to Document Courses Completed
Joint Enrollment Options
Graduation Requirements
College Admissions Requirements
Creating a Portfolio & Transcript
College Search and Application Process
Many More
This information applies to colleges and universities throughout the US.

Optional Portfolio Session -
Do you want to begin a Portfolio Binder for your teen? Kathleen will be bringing supplies so we can put our portfolios together and begin the record keeping process the very next day! Each Portfolio Kit includes: heavy-duty D-ring locking binder, dividers for major subjects and 30 courses, and more than 90 pages of information and forms. You will take home a binder with close to forty dividers and dozens of forms ready to go. You will also receive copies of Course Objectives for a variety of classes plus copies of blank Course Worksheets to use when compiling your child's records at home. Attendance at this Session will also allow you to access a website to download all forms used during the Session so you can make copies for your other students!

The Duncans homeschooled their seven children including their current high school students. The Duncans lived and home schooled in Georgia for five years prior to moving to Wichita Falls. Their oldest child was accepted into an area college and offered academic scholarships at 16. She chose to remain in high school and complete classes through Joint Enrollment - on full scholarship. As a senior, she was a National Merit Scholar Finalist and received four year academic scholarships for college. The Duncans' second daughter also entered college at sixteen as a Joint Enrollment student and their oldest son worked for the US Congress as a page at age 16 before returning home and participated in a joint enrollment program his senior year. He is now serving in the United States Marine Corps.

The Duncan's have four teens still at home. Adam is 17 and will be a senior next year. He has already earned 15 college hours. Andrew is 16 and will be a Junior. He completed his first college class this past spring.

At the seminar, Kathleen will discuss their experiences with home schooling their high school students. Examples of curriculum and sample records will be on hand for your review.

Tightwad Tips

2009-06-18T16:34:00.000-07:00

Everyone seems to be tightening down on the cash flow these days, either out of sheer need, or out of a desire to save some money in these troubling time.

My friends and I have spent hours sharing tips of saving money galore, so this is not new to many of my readers. Don't even get me started on the many uses of baking soda, vinegar and washing soda.

I know that most of my readers already make their own laundry soap, dishwasher soap, baby foods, cloth diapers and covers or wool soakers. Most of us already grow gardens, can foods, cook only from scratch, bake our own breads and buy in bulk. Good for you!

I can't even begin to share more with you than you shared with me. I did find one little money saver recently. As they say, "necessity is the mother of invention"

I found myself out of brown sugar one day while doing some baking. Not wanting to drag 7 children to the store for brown sugar...I decided to make some.

I mixed 1 cup of white sugar with about 2 tablespoons of molasses in my food processor. I use a really good, un-sulfured molasses so the color was really dark brown. It smells wonderful and I am able to use much less (since I use that great molasses) Check out the differences between molasses sometime when you are bored.

I figure that I saved about half the cost doing it this way, based on the sale prices this week.

Another tip I have is for carrots. When we do not have a garden full of them, I buy the 25# bags at the local supermarket for around $7 (less than .30 cents a pound)

That is an amazing price. You have to use them up fast or they will go bad, which is no trouble for your average family of 9!

We juice them almost everyday and use them in salads, breads, muffins, meals and for snacks. The kids love carrots!

Enjoy.

Embracing life

2009-06-16T19:00:00.001-07:00

This is a great ministry right here in my hometown.

Pray about supporting their upcoming fund raiser!

Go here for more info on their fund raiser and here for a really good reminder of just what God thinks of us, even the smallest ones of us!

Blessings....Dawn

Father's Day!

2009-06-08T10:31:00.000-07:00

Do you know that the history of Father's day celebrations started in Washington? Interesting.

This year is gonna be good! My husband is taking his check ride with the FAA on Father's day!

This is the last step needed in getting his private pilot's license, for which he has been studying hard for this past year. (Once he passes this, he will go on to pursue his commercial pilots license and CFI rating. Should be another year or so before he can start applying for pilot jobs!)

I am trying to come up with ideas to make his day awesome (aside from getting his license) and to really let him know that we love and appreciate him so much.

I already got my free custom photo card for him from shutterfly. You only pay shipping ($1.08)

We are planning a BBQ (of course) and I plan to have the kids make him some cool crafts, cards and a dessert that he likes.

Check out this site and this for ideas. My kids are all pretty young, sorry I don't have a link for older kid ideas...maybe a poem or drawing? Maybe a coupon book of chores the child will do for Dad?

The day before Father's day will be our day to go see The American Heroes Helicopter Air Show. It is at the Museum of Flight in Seattle. Since he loves all things that fly, especially helicopters, we will be there at 7:30 a.m. when the helicopters land. (Pray for me...LOL)

He will most likely want to stay all day. I plan to pack a cool picnic lunch for us and lots of snacks to keep the little ones happy (and keep us from buying the expensive foods they offer!)

It is a free event put on by the American Heroes group and the museum is not charging people. They will let people back to the landing strip area where the event is without admission. Of course, you cannot go into the museum after the show, but we took Daddy there on "Free Thursday" (last week) so he has already been inside recently.

Can you tell that we are excited about Father's day? We are making a really big deal about it this year.

My husband is a great father. I am so blessed to have such an awesome man to raise children with.

Be sure and plan a special day for the fathers in your life! It is important to teach those little ones to honor and respect their Dads!

Clothes lines!

2009-06-07T13:34:00.001-07:00

I have wanted a clothes line for a long time. For years, we had a huge wrap around porch, and I hung clothes all along the railing there. Worked fine.

Since we moved, I have not had that.

My friends all tell me how much money you can save, and how nice the clothes smell. I know all that and still, I had no clothes line.

The pilot is pretty busy most days. I won't nag him about things when he spends all his time either looking for work in this dry economy, studying for school or actually working when we are fortunate enough to have work to do!

Finally, my dryer broke down and I had no choice. The pilot was still busy, so my oldest son hung a make shift clothes line for me. We did not use the "right" line, but it is working great for a free clothes line.

I found this article on clothesline 101...might interest you.

The dryer was fixed by our landlord (thanks Leona!) and I am still using the line on hot days. The pilot has commented on how nice his clothes smell. I am sure I am saving money on electricity (and it is R-E-A-L-L-Y high in this house) so that is a bonus.

One other thing I have noticed is that on hot days, the clothes dry SO fast that my laundry is done in half the time and the clothes tend to get folded right off the line and put away sooner instead of baskets of laundry sitting on my couch (never a good thing)

I know some of you hang your clothes all year long. Interesting concept. How do you get it to dry fast in colder weather to make it "worth" it? I do about 4 loads a day, I can't wait all day for it to dry, especially on diaper washing days.

Let me see your tips and hints please!

Have a blessed week.

Dawn

Time to enter again!

2009-06-01T16:24:00.000-07:00

Don't forget to check back at the end of the month to see who wins!

Blessings.

More pictures

2009-06-01T10:23:00.000-07:00

I know, I know...I am not writing much these days! The whole point of my blog was so that I could WRITE..which I love to do. We have just been having too much fun for me to sit here and do that. Not to mention that my Shay Baby is potty training, My Heze-nator is teething and v-e-r-y- clingy...and then add the rest of life...I am a busy lady.

We went to Deception Pass yesterday. It is SOOO beautiful there. If you ever get the chance to go...you should! We plan to go many more times this summer. Of course my kids wanted to go here first. Nothing like a danger warning to get their interest! Turned out what was dangerous was that is was very close to the 100 ft. cliffs. It was beautiful. We just held onto little hands really well all the way!

Week in pictures

2009-05-25T13:35:00.001-07:00

What a week we had! There was just so much going on. I will try and catch you up~ I don't have anything profound to blog about, but there are things rolling around in my mind. Maybe soon I will get them in writing. I can say that God is good, and He is with us!

So, the pilot is really slow work wise right now, so we spent the whole weekend together. That is amazing. We rarely get to see him for 3 whole days! He and the composer did some volunteer work at the local airport on Saturday to help get it ready for the upcoming airshow. Always good to lend a hand where it is appreciated.

Friday we went to the Seattle Center for a free event with concerts, dancing etc.It is called Folk Life. It had some very colorful charachters, but also some wonderful music, crafts, arts and tons more to see. We brought food and drinks along, and parked after hours, so the whole night of fun only cost us the gas to get there! Since work is slow, we decided to make the whole weekend as cheap as we could. It took a little planning, lunch packing and saying no when needed, but I think it was worth it!

One day, we walked around the airport trail. It is about 6 miles around. Of course, with little ones...we only did about 2 miles before they were done. It was such a nice evening to walk. It mostly enclosed and there is very little traffic. Add that to the fact that it is only a few miles from home and you have another free outing!

There are educational signs all along the trail. My family enjoyed learning some of the history of our local airport. It has been there since 1934 so it was quite interesting.

Another day this weekend, the pilot was keeping close watch on the AWOS to hear the up to date weather conditions and when the wind was just right, we went to fly kites! My friend Carrie had given them to us (another free event!) I would not have guessed that my kids would have had so much fun flying kites! Thanks Carrie!

And these are some random shots of the kids.

This is preschool time. The shaving cream-on-the-table idea comes from my friend Jennifer. They love to write their letters in the shaving cream and the kitchen smells pretty good after!

Yes, we do school too...here is proof!

Thanks for looking! Have a great day!

Free Magazine

2009-05-19T14:42:00.000-07:00

Did you know that you can get No Greater Joy free?? I am sure that most of my readers know that already, but I thought it was worth the reminder.

I enjoy reading what the Pearls have to say on many topics.

UN Rights of a child convention

2009-05-16T11:11:00.000-07:00

I am sure that most of my readers are already familiar with this travesty of justice that is currently ratified in 193 nations. I have found a great article from HSLDA that really explains it well and in some depth. If you have not read anything about CRC yet...please do so. It will blow your mind what our lawmakers are considering!

Oh, so yummy

2009-05-12T16:26:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my friend Carrie...I think I have found a new obsession!

I was never much of a Cinnamon roll person...too much work, I always thought. I have to tell you that this recipe is SO good. My only regret is that I did not double the recipe. 12 rolls for my family and one house guest? Not enough!

I also was blessed to spend some time with the Philosopher while the others napped or played while making these.

Cinnabon Cinnamon RollsRecipe #76864 (I use butter instead of margarine)
1¼ hours 1 hour prep These are THE BEST cinnamon rolls! The recipe is from Todd Wilbur's MORE TOP SECRET RECIPES. Ooooey, goooey and rich! The dough can easily be prepared in your bread machine, just follow your manufacturer's order of ingredients. I put the ingredients in the night before, and then roll out and bake in the morning.
• 1 (1/4 ounce) package dry yeast
• 1 cup warm milk
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 1/3 cup margarine
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2 eggs
• 4 cups flour

FILLING
• 1 cup packed brown sugar
• 2 1/2 tablespoons cinnamon
• 1/3 cup margarine, softened

ICING
• 8 tablespoons margarine
• 1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
• 1/4 cup cream cheese
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla
• 1/8 teaspoon salt

Directions For the rolls, dissolve the yeast in the warm milk in a large bowl. Add sugar, margarine salt, eggs, and flour, mix well. Knead the dough into a large ball, using your hands dusted lightly with flour. Put in a bowl, cover and let rise in a warm place about 1 hour or until the dough has doubled in size. Roll the dough out on a lightly floured surface, until it is approx 21 inches long by 16 inches wide. It should be approx 1/4 thick. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. To make filling, combine the brown sugar and cinnamon in a bowl. Spread the softened margarine over the surface of the dough, then sprinkle the brown sugar and cinnamon evenly over the surface. Working carefully, from the long edge, roll the dough down to the bottom edge. Cut the dough into 1 3/4 inch slices, and place in a lightly greased baking pan. Bake for 10 minutes or until light golden brown. While the rolls are baking combine the icing ingredients. Beat well with an electric mixer until fluffy. When the rolls are done, spread generously with icing.

Mothers day 2009

2009-05-10T19:23:00.001-07:00

My family took me to do one of my favorite things for Mother's day....walk around Green Lake!
The Pilot took all the kids out early this morning to get me coffee (and to give me a few quite moments at home alone!) For dinner, he cooked me a fabulous steak dinner with grilled mushrooms and onions,steamed asparagus, and baked potatoes.

They bought me a beautiful fuchsia for my gift! That is a good thing because the ones I planted don't seem to be doing so great yet!

Random shots of life

2009-05-09T14:37:00.000-07:00

The artist fell asleep in the dog's bed. Guess where the dog slept? Yup...in his bed!!

One of my favorite magazines!

2009-05-09T14:12:00.001-07:00

Here is your chance to win a free 2009 subscription...check out the giveaway!

Why Christian Homeschool Families Are Being Targeted for Public Censure

2009-05-05T20:35:00.000-07:00

I found this great article from Doug Phillips that does such a good explaining what I feel about the "world vs. children" attitude that I see so often. As a mother of 7 young children, I am at times treated very badly by perfect strangers as they admonish me for the oxygen that my children are stealing from them (OK, I have only gotten that comment once)
Doug makes a great point in drawing us to the old story of the child catcher of Vulagria who seeks to rid the earth of children so that adults can roam free and follow their own bliss without that dreaded burden. I would also suggest that my readers check out Brave New World by Aldous Huxley for similar ideals of adult Utopia.
I have long felt that these attitudes are a reason that our world is in some of the trouble that it is in. It is IMO, selfish to not have children. It is this attitude of "me first, what about me"? that has plagued our world since the dawn of time. The Serpent tempted Eve with just such a line. Modern feminism sought to shake off the "shackles" of oppression and find themselves by seeking pleasure on their terms, without children.
As Mary Pride said "birth control is the mother of abortion. More and more people are childless...are they happier? More and more people have only one or two children, but they fail to train these children in anything other than the "ME first" mentality that they were raised on and the cycle continues. Is this what God wants for our lives? Selfish, self obsessed and shallow? How much more joy is there is dying to self?
My question is this, are you happy? Are you fulfilled after banishing children from your lives so that you can pursue career. hobby or vice? Has feminism made you whole and satisfied?
I can say that for me there is nothing missing and nothing broken and that is such a blessing. I am whole, I am content and satisfied. Yes, I may be tired and a bit frazzled in tending to a house full of small children but I would not trade it for anything in this world. I believe in biblical submission to my husband and that has freed me to be who I am in Jesus. Sounds like an oxymoron but I have found freedom in laying down my life for others. Alas, that is another topic. I will get to that later!

Mom's retreat

2009-05-04T10:44:00.000-07:00

I am back from a wonderful weekend with some like minded home schooling moms. I don't have any pictures yet, but I will get them as soon as I can.
I just have to say it was a precious gift to spend time with other moms who are passionate about serving the Lord in the areas of being a biblical wife and mother. God showed up in some many special ways as we laughed and cried, talked and prayed. I know that lives were changed.
I am so encouraged and refreshed! Guess I better get busy here at home huh?
Same time next year!
Thanks ladies!

A blessing!!

2009-04-24T17:39:00.000-07:00

After being encouraged by winning a collection of art work for my home school group last year,
I submitted an essay to apply for another award.

I Just found out that I won!!! I can't wait to share all these great books with our lending library!

NEH, ALA Announce We the People “Picturing America” Bookshelf
The We the People Bookshelf, a collection of classic books for young readers, is a project of the National Endowment for the Humanities’ (NEH) We the People program, conducted in cooperation with the American Library Association (ALA) Public Programs Office.
A total of 4,000 public and school (K-12) libraries will be selected to receive the “Picturing America” Bookshelf. Awards will be announced in April 2009.
"Picturing America" Collection

If you have a home school group, consider applying for next years grant!

Pictures of our week

2009-04-24T16:56:00.001-07:00

Just a few shots of our busy week!
This is a fun way to keep up on the lives of friends...like my friend Jennifer who is also posting her week of pictures!

We had our Contenders for the Faith get together on Monday. The little ones decorated cookies while the older boys worked on small engine repair and the older girls worked on quilting.

I got another wool soaker done this week

We all went to the park once or twice!

We spent a lot of time weeding, planting flowers and vegetables this week. This is a HUGE deal to me since I have what my mother calls "the black thumb of death". DH helped me, so she thinks the garden might stand a chance this year!

This picture is Shay Baby's idea of helping me weed. She was rolling around on the ground in her blanket. Very helpful!

The pilot is never cuter to me than when he is planting flowers with the princess!

The boys working hard.

Flower pots galore. I think we have around 10 now!

This is a shot of the herb garden. I will have an abundance of herbs to use fresh and dry soon! Hopefully there will be beautiful blooms filling these pots as well!

Here is a shot of the 2 tiered garden space we have this year. We are planting carrots, broccoli, spinach, beets, pickling cukes, green beans, peas, onions and squash. I started some seeds indoor for watermelon and cantaloupe. Also, some sugar pumpkins for pies and sunflowers in the area below the tiers. Can't wait for the harvest. I plan to do a LOT of canning!Of course we make bread around here...nothing new. I just thought that these little loaves that 3 of my arrows helped me make were so cute!

Playtime.

Birthday fun!

2009-04-18T13:59:00.000-07:00

My little Artist just turned 6! He is the type of boy who loves to dig in the dirt and find worms and bugs, I kept teasing him that I was going to make a cake out of dirt and he did not believe me! I had so much fun with this!

He is also a huge animal lover so Grandma surprised him with a hamster that he named "Sunflower"

He is such a sweet boy and I thank God for him. He is tenderhearted and loving and such a blessing to us. He is also the resident comedian!

We had 3 birthdays in February, 3 in March (counting Grandma) and one in April...It seems like every other weekend we have had a birthday party! I am ready for a birthday break. Next up is The Philosopher in July.

Wool Soakers!

2009-04-17T15:20:00.000-07:00

I have been cloth diapering for over 11 years now (with the exception of a hiatus with newborn twins) I have become more and more self-sufficient and frugal with it over the years. If you even wondered how much money you can save using cloth diapers, check out this

I started with a diaper service and moved on to washing my own diapers. I had 4 in diapers at one point. Buying disposables or even having a diaper service was out of the question! My favorite diapers are MotherEase one size fits all. They have gotten pretty fancy at ME since I bought mine. They have colors, bamboo diapers and even a new "stay dry" model. I just use the plain unbleached ones. I have to say...I love how cute those colored ones are though! I also like to use Indian prefolds and snappi's. Anyway....

I have always wanted to use wool soakers but they start at $35 and only go up insanely from there. So, I decided to make some. My friend Lanita gave me a great pattern and I got started. I have NO idea why I did not do this sooner. Maybe I have more time to crochet now that I have 7 children...LOL.

The pilot teased me that it too me 2 days to make one soaker, but I think that is pretty good if you consider the homeschooling, baby, toddler, 2 preschoolers and OH yeah...the 3 other children!

If you like it, I can make you one.....only $35 :)

Last week in pictures

2009-04-16T11:03:00.000-07:00

Spaghetti...mmmm

Date night with mom.

Little chicken in a pot!

PACCAR open house

At the park.

Morning cuddle time. We do it every morning! You should give it a try with your kids!

Luke Warm

2009-04-16T10:55:00.000-07:00

Huh? back peddle, back peddle....

It's like I said in my earlier post on talking out of both sides of the mouth!

2009-04-10T13:36:00.000-07:00

Apple "pie" for the little ones

2009-04-10T12:18:00.000-07:00

I was looking for a way to bless my littles and found this easy recipe.

Ingredients
2 Golden Delicious apples
2 Tbs. sugar
1 tsp. cinnamon
Flour for dusting
1 pkg. (7.5 oz.) refrigerated biscuits
some cutie pie helpers. I used an assortment of 2 and 4 year olds.

Directions
1. Heat oven to 350 degrees F. Peel apples; grate them into a medium bowl.

In a small bowl, combine sugar and cinnamon. Stir half of cinnamon sugar into grated apples.

2. Roll each biscuit to about a 5″ circle.

Spoon apple mixture onto circles.

Fold circles over and pinch edges to make half-moons. Place on a baking sheet.
3. Brush pies with water and sprinkle with remaining cinnamon sugar. Bake 20 minutes.

Talking out both sides of their mouth?

2009-04-10T10:46:00.001-07:00

Are we surprised, really? Are we surprised that Rick Warren has apologized to "his gay and lesbian friends" for his former support of prop. 8?http://www.onenewsnow.com/Culture/Default.aspx?id=481280

Are we shocked that he is now saying that he never supported a constitutional amendment that would overturn gay marriage in California?
What is happening in our country?

“For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires, and will turn away their ears from the truth and will turn aside to myths.” 2 Timothy 4:3-4

A recent discussion on this issue with a group of my friends yielded some strong comments on the deplorable condition of today's church, and rightly so. There was also the comment made that "I don't think we can label ALL churches this way though." again, rightly so. Or, is it?
I am sure that there are some great churches out there. I happen to LOVE our home church experience and the families involved. Yes, I am sure that there are some "conventional" churches somewhere that are not "that way" meaning, the way described in 2 Tim 4:3-4.
However. In response to that, I have to say that the churches that I have experienced have been that way.

Let's set aside the issue of gay marriage for the moment. After all, we should not even be debating this...seriously, we know better. Why is it that issues like gay marriage are overtaking our laws, belief systems and churches when we KNOW better?

It is because "church" is that way.

Yes, we are accumulating teachers in accordance with our own desires and turning our ears from the truth.
Consider for a moment issues like allowing God to plan our family size, homeschooling and being a helpmeet to our husbands. They are biblical, no?
Yet, how many churches preach that message? Oh sure, you may get the pastor who gets "radical" for a few Sundays a year and talks about the importance of those things, but the fruit is not there.

Satan has done a great job at getting us to worship at the alter of SELF. We are so devoted to this that we will not accept messages that lean to much away from that. That does not go alone with our own desires.

The message that is being preached, no matter how thinly veneered as otherwise, is the doctrine of self fulfilment. Women are encouraged in words and by example to "serve the Lord" in the marketplace and in the church. Fashion and external appearances are highly valued instead of the beauty of a quiet spirit yielded to God. Babies and children are discouraged, but if you do have one or two, it is advisable to place them in daycare/school/church nursery as soon as possible so that the business of self can be attended to. Need to have that "ME" time.

Women are spending their days in activities that can be called inane in the least and blasphemous at the worst. Working hard on planning the next ladies "ministry" event (bowling, scrap booking, movie night?) for the church, tanning, going to the gym, lunch with the ladies, bible study and pick up a pizza on the way home for dinner. OK, that may not reflect all of our lives (though I personally know of women, even pastor's wives for whom that is a reality) So what is Satan encouraging the rest of us to do with our time?

What about the incredible burdens we are heaping on mom's at home, especially those hard working, homeschooling mom's of little one? To have the perfectly maintained home, all decked out for a photo shoot with House Beautiful at any moment?

Gourmet meals, perfectly manicured lawns and flawlessly organized homeschool curriculum designed to produce perfectly flawless students? Not close? How about the pressure to have the cookie cutter children who are seen but not heard? How about the pressure to follow complicated, legalistic approaches to child discipline? Not to mention the endless expectation to make sure everyone knows how "holy" and righteous our families appear to the watching circle of friends and advisor despite the fact that mom, dad and the kids are hanging on by a thread to their sanity?

The pressure builds. The mom is too exhausted, stressed out and wrung out to attend to the real needs of her husband and children, not to mention the needs of those outside the home. The church will endorse the idea that mom needs a break and insist that serving our husband and children is abusive to the women or at least woefully outdated.

Forget about her being able to see what is happening in the world and pray!

What is this really accomplishing? Another kowtow to the alter of SELF.

Why would we make ourselves so miserable chasing after these false ideas if we were really all about self? Wouldn't it be easier to be the mom who gets the tan and the massage? (um, DUH)

Instead, we can hold on to our piety and know that we are really serving the Lord as reflected in our perfectly manicured lawn or alphabetically organized cupboards. But, are we? Are we not also accumulating those (people, ideas, things) who would tickle our ears to our own desires? Do these things not only serve self, pride, ego?

Instead of "slaving" away on things that do not matter on the other side of eternity should we not focus on what really matters now? Loving your husband and children does not mean being Marta Stewart. (BTW, was she named prophetically or WHAT?)

If we are too stressed out by our tasks of no importance to give our husband respect and minister to his needs or to sit in the grass and pick dandelions with our children what good is it anyway?

What in the world does this have to do with gay marriage, or Rick Warren or if churches are that way or not?

I do have a point.

The point is that we are being distracted to such a degree that we do not even notice the temperature rising. Like the proverbial frog in the pot, we are in danger of being boiled to death. Another year spent being exhausted and stressed out chasing the wind and we don't notice the churches insistence that our children be separated from us and encouraged to play video games during kid's church.

We don't bat an eye at the admonishment to be tolerant to the degree that the pastor of a HUGE church is apologizing to gay's and lesbians for biblical truths. In the name of love and acceptance, of course. After all, we don't want to appear unloving now do we? We do not notice the poor and needy among us both physically and emotionally desperate who need our care. We can't see that we are

Be careful, the temperature is rising around us, we need to choose to be either hot or cold.

"I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realise that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked." Revelation 3:15-17

2009-04-09T01:27:00.000-07:00

Easter is almost here, wow..this past year went fast. Even though it may not yet look like it, Spring is upon us! I love the Spring, I love to see the flowers and trees in bloom. I love to smell the fresh cut grass and see the sunshine peeking through these steel Washington skies again, be it ever so briefly!

This year, Spring and Easter are especially meaningful to me. After having just walked through the hardest 2 years of my life fraught with turmoil, loss and stress that I feared would crush me...I am now standing on the other side blinking in the dawning light of my Jesus. Sorrow may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning. Amen. And what a sweet joy it is.

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.

2 Cor 4:8-10

We have been talking a lot about the blessings that have come out this past season. Not only have the Pilot and I both seen a richer depth to our walks with Jesus, but we were given an amazing gift in the midst of our trial. It is awesome to see my DH swell up with love and tenderness as we talk about the beautiful blessing of our newest baby and it brought tears to my eyes to hear him tell me that he would not trade one thing we have lost for the incredible privilege of having this baby in our lives. Every moment of that dark night of the soul was necessary to develop us into just who God wants us to be, for these incredible children, for our own growth and for the glory of our God.

I can say that I am thankful for my recent trials, but only just recently! I could not say that while I was in the middle of them. I can say to those who may be right where we were...hang on, God is with you even if you can't see that right now.

I believe there that God is in control. Not that I have it all down yet, not that I am walking in perfectly surrendered faith....but I am seeing more and more that even when things seem dark, God has an incredible plan for it all!

I pray that you all get a glimpse of God's unending love for you as you celebrate the resurrection with your families this week! Alleluia, He is risen!

The joys of Parfait

2009-04-06T14:54:00.001-07:00

Homeschool Geography fair

2009-04-06T14:38:00.000-07:00

My kids did such a great job researching, preparing and presenting their projects! I am so proud of them, and so thankful for a great homeschool group to share these slices of life with!

The Composer chose to study the state of Georgia. He made Brunswick stew to share with everyone. His daddy is from Brunswick, so that was fun.

The Philosopher chose to study Brazil. He did a demonstration of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu with his father. Hence the GI he is wearing! My men all study BJJ together.

Getting daddy in "the mount".

The Artist chose to study Italy, mainly because that is where Ferrari's come from! He also made a dessert called Zuppa Inglese for everyone to share. Yummy.

Why We Need the Parental Rights Amendment

2009-04-03T10:31:00.000-07:00

If you have not checked into what is happening in this area of our constitutional rights, please do so today!

This is from: http://www.parentalrights.org/index.asp?Type=NONE&SEC={520635A0-D52D-4DA9-8AE7-CA574A3228F0}

Eighty years ago the Supreme Court declared that “the child is not the mere creature of the State; those who nurture him and direct his destiny have the right, coupled with the high duty, to recognize and prepare him for additional obligations.” Pierce v. Society of Sisters, 268 U.S. 510 (1925).
Thirty years ago the Court continued this line of reasoning with the pronouncement that the “primary role of the parents in the upbringing of their children is now established beyond debate as an enduring American tradition.” Wisconsin v. Yoder, 406 U.S. 205 (1972).

Yet in 2000, when the State of Washington gave any person the ability to override a good parent’s decision about visitation by simply claiming that it would be “best” for children to allow the third-party to have visitation rights, in the Supreme Court:

· There were six separate opinions and none reached a five-vote majority
· Justice Thomas was the only Justice to clearly state that parental rights receive the same high legal standard of protection as other fundamental rights
· Justice Scalia held that parents have no constitutionally protected rights whatsoever

Support for a high-view of parental rights has been seriously undermined by the current Court.

As a consequence, numerous lower federal courts refuse to treat parental rights as deserving of protection as a fundamental right.

At the same time, America is poised to adopt the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child. President Obama supports this treaty. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has been a leading advocate of this treaty for over twenty years. Senator Barbara Boxer (D-CA) has “promised” that this treaty will be ratified during this term of Congress.

If this treaty is ratified:

· The laws of all 50 states on children and parents would be superseded by this international law by virtue of a specific provision of the US Constitution which expressly declares treaties to be supreme over state law. Virtually all law on children and parents is state law.
· Good parents would no longer be entitled to the legal presumption that they act in the best interests of their children. Instead, the government would have the authority to overrule all parents on any decision concerning the child if the government believed it could make a better decision.
· Parents could no longer spank their children.
· Children would have the legal right to choose their own religion. Parents would be permitted only to give advice.
· America would be under a binding legal obligation to massively increase its federal spending on children’s programs.

The only kind of law that can override a treaty is the Constitution of the United States. State laws or state constitutions cannot override treaties. There is no guarantee that federal statutes could override treaties—moreover, we enter a binding legal promise to obey a treaty when we ratify it. America should not promise to obey a treaty and then claim it is appropriate to obey the treaty only when we want to. America of all nations must respect the rule of law.

There is only one possible solution for the eroding support for parental rights in the Supreme Court that can also stop the encroachment of international law.

We need to place the time-honored test of parental rights, as recognized by the Supreme Court for over seventy years, into the explicit text of the Constitution.

We cannot wait until our rights are formally demolished. We must act now to stop international law and protect these two key principles:

· Fit parents should be allowed to direct the upbringing of their children.
· American legislators, not international tribunals, should make the public policy for America on families and children.

If you believe these two principles, become a supporter of parental rights by signing the online petition.

Just a few pictures

2009-04-02T11:53:00.001-07:00

Grace

2009-03-31T15:13:00.001-07:00

I have been thinking a lot about grace lately. God's grace given to us in the person of Jesus Christ.
Grace given to me.

What does grace mean? ..."the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God. The influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them. A virtue or excellence of divine origin". (dictionary.com)

There are so many things in my life that are slaves to the "law" only it's not God's law...but man's. There is this whole set of "should's and should not's" that are constantly being created and reinterpreted in my life. Burdens are heaped that God never intended that be carried. As a follower of Christ I follow God's word, I stand on that 100%. I should aspire to be the best (wife, mother, friend....) that I can be.

It just seems to me that there is too much emphasis placed on getting it all "right". On how "good" we are, or how "good" our children are, how "good" we are as wives, or how organized, crafty, thrifty, holy....(you insert your favorite adjective here.) Yet, these ideas are often based more on self than on God. More based on the idea of what some leader, speaker or author thinks is the right way than on what the Creator thinks is right. Sadly, they are more based on works and earning our way to God than on grace, faith and mercy.
It seems that if we don't measure up to "Suzy Super Christian's" idea of the perfect helpmeet and homeschooling mother then we are lost (according to some). If we don't use all the proper "holy" curriculum, or attend the right conferences...we might as well throw in the towel.
There is a fine line being laid down for Christians to follow these days, and let me tell you...it is mostly man's design.
That is a bold statement huh? That's just me!
I have tried and failed to have the perfect family, homeschool, children etc. Thank God!! Now that I am done trying to walk that ever changing chalk line, I can look to God's plumb line.
Enter Grace.

These days I am seeking less to have the perfect family by man's standards and instead seeking God's idea. Mercy, love, relationship...not forced obedience that leaves the heart hardened or demanding that every page of this or that lesson gets completed before we can cuddle and play.

More smiles, less scowling. Instead of seeking LAW...I am seeking Grace, In my walk, in how I teach my kids, in how I treat them. In how I treat others, Christian and non. There is so much freedom in not trying to get it all perfect. Jesus came so that He could change me. If I could do it alone, his death would have been in vain.
Jesus is my grace. He loves me even when I get it all wrong!

For the law was given by Moses, [but] grace and truth came by Jesus Christ. John 1:17

Shaking out the cobwebs!

2009-03-29T16:02:00.000-07:00

What a beautiful day! I woke to today feeling so good! After being sick for over 3 weeks, the fog has lifted! I got up at first light and jumped out of bed ready to start my day! (7 a.m. is still considered the first light, right?) And by jumped out of bed, I mean that my dh put both feet on me and pushed...but still, I got up and was not sick!!
What a blessing to feel better. Just that simple thing. Feeling better. Wow. Today was very productive. In addition to the standard laundry, cooking, cleaning and tending to my arrows, I cleaned and organized all the drawers and most of the cupboards in the kitchen. Dh cleaned and organized all 3 bays of his shop and the little "bonus room" in the garage! Everything is still covered in a thick layer of sawdust (dh is a woodworker) but we can actually move around in that space now! A task that was LONG overdue, even though we have only lived here since last August. He set up my treadmill in there too yeah! I am more than ready to start using it again.

(here is that bonus room...wish I had a "before" Imagine no space to walk! )

How do we collect so much stuff? Papers and magazines were crammed into the "junk drawer" to the point of over flowing. Things that I had intended to read and never got around to. Pencils, glue and markers were in the wrong spots and kitchen utensils were scattered among the silverware. Rubber bands, sewing pins, GI Joes...all things that somehow ended up in my kitchen!
It was time to set things straight. Not unlike my heart and mind. After weeks of feeling so ill and grumpy and tending to sick kiddos...I was ready to reorganize my head as well! Today I have been singing praise to the Lord! God is good, all the time!

Now if only I could get the rest of the house cleaned for more than 5 minutes!

So, I decided to jump into the blog pool!

2009-03-28T22:45:00.000-07:00

This being my very first blog and all...all that I have to say is WOW...there are sure a lot of neat gadget's, widgets and what not's to add to these blogs! How fun! My oldest son and I had a blast trying to wade through this new world together!
I am excited to start blogging! I have been so blessed by the blogs of friends, I hope mine will give you some enjoyment as well!