Easter is almost here, wow..this past year went fast. Even though it may not yet look like it, Spring is upon us! I love the Spring, I love to see the flowers and trees in bloom. I love to smell the fresh cut grass and see the sunshine peeking through these steel Washington skies again, be it ever so briefly!

This year, Spring and Easter are especially meaningful to me. After having just walked through the hardest 2 years of my life fraught with turmoil, loss and stress that I feared would crush me...I am now standing on the other side blinking in the dawning light of my Jesus. Sorrow may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning. Amen. And what a sweet joy it is.

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.

2 Cor 4:8-10

We have been talking a lot about the blessings that have come out this past season. Not only have the Pilot and I both seen a richer depth to our walks with Jesus, but we were given an amazing gift in the midst of our trial. It is awesome to see my DH swell up with love and tenderness as we talk about the beautiful blessing of our newest baby and it brought tears to my eyes to hear him tell me that he would not trade one thing we have lost for the incredible privilege of having this baby in our lives. Every moment of that dark night of the soul was necessary to develop us into just who God wants us to be, for these incredible children, for our own growth and for the glory of our God.

I can say that I am thankful for my recent trials, but only just recently! I could not say that while I was in the middle of them. I can say to those who may be right where we were...hang on, God is with you even if you can't see that right now.

I believe there that God is in control. Not that I have it all down yet, not that I am walking in perfectly surrendered faith....but I am seeing more and more that even when things seem dark, God has an incredible plan for it all!

I pray that you all get a glimpse of God's unending love for you as you celebrate the resurrection with your families this week! Alleluia, He is risen!

Grace

I have been thinking a lot about grace lately. God's grace given to us in the person of Jesus Christ.
Grace given to me.

What does grace mean? ..."the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God. The influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them. A virtue or excellence of divine origin". (dictionary.com)

There are so many things in my life that are slaves to the "law" only it's not God's law...but man's. There is this whole set of "should's and should not's" that are constantly being created and reinterpreted in my life. Burdens are heaped that God never intended that be carried. As a follower of Christ I follow God's word, I stand on that 100%. I should aspire to be the best (wife, mother, friend....) that I can be.

It just seems to me that there is too much emphasis placed on getting it all "right". On how "good" we are, or how "good" our children are, how "good" we are as wives, or how organized, crafty, thrifty, holy....(you insert your favorite adjective here.) Yet, these ideas are often based more on self than on God. More based on the idea of what some leader, speaker or author thinks is the right way than on what the Creator thinks is right. Sadly, they are more based on works and earning our way to God than on grace, faith and mercy.
It seems that if we don't measure up to "Suzy Super Christian's" idea of the perfect helpmeet and homeschooling mother then we are lost (according to some). If we don't use all the proper "holy" curriculum, or attend the right conferences...we might as well throw in the towel.
There is a fine line being laid down for Christians to follow these days, and let me tell you...it is mostly man's design.
That is a bold statement huh? That's just me!
I have tried and failed to have the perfect family, homeschool, children etc. Thank God!! Now that I am done trying to walk that ever changing chalk line, I can look to God's plumb line.
Enter Grace.

These days I am seeking less to have the perfect family by man's standards and instead seeking God's idea. Mercy, love, relationship...not forced obedience that leaves the heart hardened or demanding that every page of this or that lesson gets completed before we can cuddle and play.



More smiles, less scowling. Instead of seeking LAW...I am seeking Grace, In my walk, in how I teach my kids, in how I treat them. In how I treat others, Christian and non. There is so much freedom in not trying to get it all perfect. Jesus came so that He could change me. If I could do it alone, his death would have been in vain.
Jesus is my grace. He loves me even when I get it all wrong!

For the law was given by Moses, [but] grace and truth came by Jesus Christ. John 1:17